EReader War

Dear Mega-Book-Store-That-Crushed-The-Life-Out-Of-Borders:
You have a pretty cool color ereader that caught the attention of my oldest, who devours books like they were chocolate candies that don't cause weight gain or pimples.  Basically, a trip to the library, if we don't want to make another trip within three days, requires us to check out at least five books.

All summer long he has been anticipating the eventual purchase of this cool gadget.  And all summer long I've been meaning to get into your store and discuss the safeguards you put in place to insure that my sweet baby doesn't accidentally search for the definition of "hustle" and end up staring at parts reserved for his honeymoon.

So, last week I finally made that stop.  I looked for the fine person you generally have ready to pounce on shoppers the minute they walk through the door;*  s/he was, obviously, on break.  So, I picked up a full-color brochure and still wasn't able to determine if there was any sort of parental password/block to keep my children from watching NC-17 movies at will.

Since summer is coming to a quick close and we were ultra-close to our local store, we stopped in again today, this time spotting the nice guy behind the counter.  He did his finest pounce on us as we walked through the door.  But, this time?  We weren't so unhappy to be accosted.

It turns out, explained the nice gentleman, that there is nothing to stop Internet access.  No parental controls.

So, if I understand this correctly, big-box-book-store, you created an ereader that can download books for preschoolers and didn't have the forethought to think that their parents might not want them to accidentally download pictures of Katy Perry wearing a huge cupcake bra?

REALLY?  

Is someone in HR reading this?


You need to hire an old geezer like me, with kids who are more sheltered than most, and have her in your strategy sessions.  She'll point out the obvious error in your thinking and make this thing blast off through the roof with sales.

But, right now?  The best I can do is talk to an overseas tech who will add notes to his system so, hopefully, sometime in the next fourteen updates, this will become a standard setting.

Cripe.  Cheap old me even offered to pay $20 extra for this functionality, if they'd only make it available.  No dice.

Are you listening, big-wig corporate types?  I've just offered you a differentiating marketing tool.  And another revenue stream, via the additional fee anal-retentive, ultra-conservative, protective parents will pay to protect their children.


I just made you a fortune and you didn't pay a dime for my services.  But, wait!  Don't send me a Nook Color as a thank-you because, as of press time, the Kindle is the lead pony in this race. 

Feel free to give me a shout when you've added that parental protection package and we'll see if we decide to jump the Kindle mother ship.  But, you best hurry, because I intend to talk with some tech at Amazon about this same concern.  And we all know that Amazon is about to best Wal-Mart as the leader of the free world.

Most sincerely (and somewhat bitterly)--
MommaJ and her son, Nickels


*The fact that you are paying someone to man those stations sends up my "you must be making a blue fortune off these things" radar.