Friday, January 14, 2011

Postulate: Sugar Causes ADD

Hypothesis: The Babe ate something wildly sugary at school, right before he came home.

Proof of hypothesis: A conversation that began at 4:01pm, on the ride home from dropping off brothers at karate, and ended at 4:35pm with me asking the question "Did you celebrate someones birthday at school today?"

Ramblings during which hypothesis was proven: Recollection of a "dream" that included adoption of at least 100 animals, including lions, tigers, cats, dogs, a guinea pig, lots of fish, not to mention 100 ladybugs. The birth of a baby sister. The purchase of our house. Two wounds inflicted on Doug, including one where our pool was void of water and Mike had filled it with "cremicals"* and Doug fell over the side, breaking his leg. The demise of our neighbor's house by fire, during which all the children broke some appendage on their body (everyone got out OK, otherwise.) Visions of owning a Lego store, with the purchase of any set of Legos being unnecessary, thereby causing our house to fill to the brim with the bricks.** A robber, who stepped in between Aaron and the last set of "police Legos", and stole it.

Do you get my point? The conversation.wouldn't.end.

He'd leave the room talking, walk down the hall talking, talk to the walls in his room, talk coming up the hall, and continue talking when he found me again. The ramblings were punctuated by "Guess what?" and "Do you know what happened next?" and "THEN..."

I began to wonder if it was a mistake that God didn't make an OFF button right in the middle of a kid's forehead, just for situations like this.

Corroboration of Hypothesis to a Bonafide Fact: After asking about late-day birthday parties, The Babe got a weird look on his face, kind of like he was wondering "HOW DID SHE KNOW? I HAVEN'T EVEN TALKED ABOUT THAT YET!" and he responded that, indeed, they had had a New Year's party. For Texas. With cupcakes and lemonade and Sprite and Dr. Pepper.

When I made the mistake of asking what kind of cupcakes***, he said the holders were swirly and the cake was "manilla" and the frosting had sprinkles.

My brain shut down at that moment. I think my ears hit some sort of overload.

From that moment on, I could see his lips moving, but I had NO IDEA WHAT HE WAS SAYING.

Then he decided it was time to play and off he ran, literally kicked into high gear, down the street, to play with one of his little buddies. I sure hope none of his friend's Moms ask how his day went.....

Me? I'm seriously considering a pre-dinner nap.


*Chemicals.

**This one isn't actually part of a dream; it's reality.

***I often live vicariously off descriptions of sugary foods I can't get my hands on at the moment.

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