De ninguna manera!****

Today, our sweet little neighbor boy ventured through the kitchen and the following conversation issued forth:

Me: Hola, Senor!
Him: Hola!

Me: Como estas?
Him: BIEN!*

And off he ran through the house, to find the kids.

Thank goodness he didn't stop to actually HAVE a conversation in Spanish, because I would have quickly moved right back to speaking the Queen's goods had he ventured any further.

Yes, I'm just dangerous enough with my Spanish to be dangerous.

CERVEZA, anyone???

For someone who made a major fool out of myself last time I went to Mexico, I'm surprised "HOLA!" rolled off my tongue. I've been a lot hesitant to speak in tongues since the following "GEEZ, you are SO American" interaction went down:

Maitre d: Hola! Buenas Dias!
Me (all smug, thinking "I CAN ANSWER THAT!"): Buenas Dias!*

Maitre d has grabbed the morning menu and is now walking me toward the table to meet my two comadres. We three gals have been in Mexico several days and are enjoying our last breakfast at the resort.

Maitre d: Coma Esta?
Me (still way too smug): Nada.

That's when the dude starts laughing until I think I might have to perform the Heimlich.

We get to the table and he's STILL LAUGHING and now my friends want to know "WHAT?" and he repeats, in Spanish, the last part of our conversation. Now all three are laughing.

And all I could add to the conversation was "HEE HAW. Look at me! I'm a donkey's behind." I have no Earthly idea why the answer "Nothing" to the question "What's happening?"** is funny.

After one of my friends stops snorting long enough to explain, I understand I was asked "How are you?" and responded "Nothing". All the laughing made a LOT more sense then.

Let's just say, the Montezuma's Revenge that settled in after that meal wiped that smug clean out of my body.*** I gave up anything that looked, smelled, or tasted remotely like it might involve the Spanish language for several years after that.

Fast forward to today, when I was pleasantly pleased that our eight-year-old neighbor neither laughed NOR corrected me in my phraseology.

Sadly, though, our family line isn't fairing well in this context. Our oldest is following in my footsteps; he has studied Latin for two years now. Eventually, he wants to speak Japanese, Chinese or Vietnamese. He's actually said "I'd like to major in Math and minor in language."

Maybe the family tree of "English-only" will end with him. If I have a choice, he'll tackle Japanese, giving me the opportunity to travel with him to the land of REAL sushi and sake.

Of course, none of the rest of us will know how to order off the menu and I'm sure, in my smug "I can do this, I'll order!" way, I'll end up with raw octopus egg sushi on my plate.

Maybe it's time I ponied up a little coin for one of them there Rosetta Stone packages?

Si??



*Copycat! Negative three points for originality.

**That would be the question "Que pasa?".

***Along with everything else.

****NO WAY! Yeah, had to Goggle "Spanish to English translation" to pull this one off.