After I picked myself up off the floor laughing, I had to share this. I didn't write it (DISCLAIMER, all you sue happy people!), I just know how to cut and paste and remove pesky < signs and stuff.
There's this long standing "feud", something like the Hatfields v. McCoys, between Texas and California.
But, try as I might, I can't figure out exactly why.
We both come from huge states. We both have coasts. We both have tons of agriculture we share with other states/countries. What's not to like about both states, seriously?
I think, after giving this a little more thought, that it boils down to a political thing. Texas is viewed as a Bible-thumping, George Bush loving, red state.** California is viewed as an anything-goes, pot-smoking/hippie-loving, blue state. And in the middle the two shall never meet.
Or, maybe it's just the Cowboys vs. the 49ers thing. In which case, I could care less and have zero, zilch, nada commentary.
In any case, read on. (Hopefully) enjoy.
And have a great "GEEZ. It's Tuesday but it sure feels like a Monday!" kind of day.
The Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks the Governor's dog, then bites the Governor.
The Governor starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop because the coyote is only doing what is natural.
He calls animal control. Animal Control captures the coyote and bills the State $200 testing it for diseases and $500 for relocating it.
He calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the Governor's dead dog and bills the
State $200 testing it for diseases.
The Governor goes to hospital and spends $3,500 getting checked for diseases from the coyote and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
The running trail gets shut down for 6 months while Fish & Game conducts a $100,000 survey to make sure the area is now free of dangerous animals.
The Governor spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "coyote awareness program" for residents of the area.
The State Legislature spends $2 million to study how to better treat rabies and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world.
The Governor's security agent is fired for not stopping the attack. The State spends $150,000 to hire and train a new agent with additional special training re: the nature of coyotes.
PETA protests the coyote's relocation and files a $5 million suit against the State.
Meanwhile, in Texas:
The Governor of Texas is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A coyote jumps out and attacks his dog.
The Governor shoots the coyote with his State-issued pistol and keeps jogging. The Governor has spent $0.50 on a .45 ACP hollow point cartridge.
Buzzards eat the dead coyote.
And that, my friends, is why California is broke and Texas is not.
*With sincerest thanks to my buddy who also has a blog but probably won't post it there because this isn't remotely in line with her blog's theme. And, even if she does, seeing it one more time will give me a chance to reread it and laugh until I'm on the floor again.
**Except native Austinites. And those people just aren't explainable most of the time, so we love them like a Weight Watchers leader loves cake: from a distance and with a lot of restraint.