On the Lighter Side

Stupid things I've seen lately, disguised as "necessary":

Toilet paper covers for the "naked" roll of toilet paper that is sitting on the back of your toilet.

My question?  If you intend to actually USE that roll, do you really want to go through the trouble of taking it out of the holder?  And doesn't that mean that the roll holder ends up, well, touched by a LOT of people who are sitting on the toilet?

Nice try, big TP company.

Beer labels that tell me when my beer is cold enough
Sure, it's cool that the mountains turn blue.  But, have my hands stopped working?  Truly, I can feel if my bottle of beer is cold.

And, if I've taken the six-pack out of a working fridge at my local grocer's case and brought it directly home to my fridge, that son-of-a-gun is still going to be frosty, mountains or no.  Even if exposed to 107 degree heat.*

BUT, just in case I'm the only handless human being in history AND I'm only able to read two-syllable words, they've added banners that indicate that my beer is COLD or SUPER COLD.

Sadly, stupid is as stupid does.  So, I guess that means I need a new brand of beer.

Beer labels with a "born-on" date
I'd like to shake the hand of the mother whose been busy at work, cranking out all those beer bottles/cans.  And tell her that she can stop birthing beer.  Because, honestly, that is just this side of disgusting.

Head apparel that creates a bump in your hair
When I was growing up, I could get this same effect by tormenting any of my brother's friends and allowing them to get close enough to me to bonk me on the head with a hard toy. Or, I could throw my head upside down and tease the snot out of my hair.

Both with no shipping.  And for FREE.

My next mission is to discover the most idiotic warning labels placed on products and bring them to your attention. 

This is probably going to require research.  Which is going to require beer.  Which means, before anything else, I'll be researching my new brand of beer.

And, I bet, I'll be able to tell if it is cold enough.  Even without the mountains.


*Tested this theory, for science sake;  proved it right.