Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Kid-Style Questioning

When I was a little girl, eons ago, we used to ask questions like "Would you rather kiss Shaun Cassidy OR Leif Garrett?" There was the inevitable controversy amongst the bell-bottomed girls about which boy, blond or brunette, was the cutest. I'm not sure we ever got consensus, but it did lead to some interesting nine-year-old conversations.

Tonight at dinner I get asked the question "Would you rather be locked in a dungeon with a sumo wrestler with a machine gun OR lick peanut butter off a hobo's foot?"

First off, who still uses the word "hobo"? Really. Isn't that sub-1940's lingo?

Second, what the heck? I guess it's the testosterone. Scary situation vs. gross predicament.

Let's just say that what was sitting on the dinner plates really took the gross award earlier in the meal*, but I had just about had enough.

I prefer my mealtime musings be geared towards innocent, sweet questions like "Would you rather marry Miley Cyrus or Candice from Phineas and Ferb?" OR "How does Mom do it? Day after day of delicious, nutritious, portion-balanced meals? She's a GENIUS!"

But, alas, I've been dealt the male card four times over, six if you include the dogs, so I'm in for years of off-color questioning. Guess I should acquiesce now.

Incidentally, since I had to make a choice: I'm licking peanut butter.

*They were tasty enough, but let's just say the baked combination of gluten-free bread crumbs + turkey cubes look surprisingly like the clumps removed from most cat's litter boxes. I started chuckling when I was dishing them up and then Mike turned the corner and lost it. The kids? They've never seen a litter box, so when I dubbed our protein-entree "Sadie bites", after one of my now-deceased cats, it only made me and Mike bust a gut.


  1. Sounded like a perfect opportunity to launch into a lesson on the logical error of false alternatives. Nothing like baffling them with B.S. to get out of the touch choices. ;-)

  2. A good point. Similar to whether to vote for Hilary or Obama.