Monday, November 2, 2009

The 10 Plagues Countdown

A few years ago our house was blessed with a series of boils that was, almost, at least in our minds, of Biblical proportion. It seemed that they just kept coming and were always MRSA, meaning a compounding pharmacy would have to do the honors in mixing up the prescription, which was never covered by our insurance company because the meds were considered "experimental".

Plague number one. Endured. Appreciated for its ability to inflict scars and excrutiating pain on those affected. As well, for its ability to flatten a budget to negative numbers in two prescriptions.

Gross out factor: 115%+.

For Halloween weekend we visited my brother and his family. This was supposed to be the relaxing weekend trip that would leave Dallas and its worries all behind.

Except that, about two hours before trick-or-treating was to commence, one of our boys began scratching his head in earnest. This was nothing new to me. Child had been doing the same for about a week and I kept checking his head. Nada. I chalked it up to poor shampoo rinsing in the shower.

Problem wasn't that he wasn't covered in lice and eggs. It was that his Mama had no idea what she was looking for. Thank goodness for a street savvy Aunt.

The solution? Total head shaving. With dog clippers. Even though only one of the boys was affected, they all got the treatment, including Daddy.

There was much gnashing, wailing, and comments about being a freak with no hair.

Several hours later, every male Nowell had endured lice shampoo and had a newfound appreciation for how much a bald head loses heat in the cold. Momma discovered lice shampoo doesn't stink, but it sure doesn't do much for making hair easy to style.

But, after a few well-chosen pieces of candy and plenty of fun going house-to-house, every one retired to bed pretty happy with their "new look".

This morning, brother and sister-in-law were left with a portion of the dubious task of cleaning linens, beds, pillows, etc. We left, tails between our legs, hoping they will eventually forgive us.

Plague number two. Sucks. Bad. Kids look cute but I'm still grossed out. On the economics side of things, though, this one is a cake walk compared to the boils.

Gross out factor: 1000%+.

Still wondering: which plague is next? Locusts? Frogs? Blood in the water? WHAT?

Stay tuned, campers. With eight more possiblities, I'm positive there's more to come.

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