This weekend, as we were approaching the building that houses the Sunday School classrooms, Aaron looked up at me and said "I'm the complication".
At that moment, I was completely confused because 1) I couldn't believe a six-year-old could say the word "complication" without stumbling over it 2) the statement was so random that I thought "Did I tell someone he was a DIFFICULT child and they shared it with him?"and 3) we've never, not once, zero times watched "Jersey Shore".
Not only was this all going through my mind, but I also started laughing hysterically at the whole statement. When Mike was let in on the joke, he just looked at me, shrugged his shoulders and said "Well, maybe? Sometimes?"
Turns out, one of The Babe's favorite Disney shows, "Shake It Up!", featured a character named "The Complication".
I guess that's better than being known as "The Constipation".
Nickels and I were reviewing geography this morning and I was trying to provide helpful hints for some of the latest European countries he is learning.
My hint for "Sardinia" was this "The major export from the city in Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs was.....?". He said sardines and then "OH! Sardinia!" I gave a clue for Switzerland, too, but the poor boy didn't know squat about where the best chocolate came from, nor that Austria was renowned for crystal.
But, the best answer came from this hint: "When you are REALLY, REALLY, REALLY starving, what are you?"
"OOOOHHHH! I know this country: STARVANIA."
Me, thinking: "Starvania? The distant cousin of Barfania?"
The correct answer, which I promptly gave to Nickels after I laughed so hard I almost peed my britches? Hungary.
Yes, we have some work to do before he's ready for the next geography quiz.
For some reason, only known by someone other than me, Hooman decided he desperately needed to try sushi.
Now, other than the fact that each piece costs about a buck, I'm totally cool with my kids trying something new. I would love to have someone in my family who would crave sushi and go blow $40 on a big, whompin' plate of the stuff. So, on his day off from school, we headed to Sushi Loco.*
We ordered Sushi Combo C which included a California Roll, Smoked Salmon, Octopus, Eel, and Shrimp.
WHAT? Did you expect him to try pickled pig knuckles and radish on his FIRST TIME OUT?**
Since I had built up the ease with which real sushi lovers develop their habit via the California Roll, this was the first piece in his mouth. Turned out, he wasn't crazy about the avocado. Strike one.
Next? After I tried it first and declared it "chewy with no distinct flavor"? Octopus. He chewed like a cow at pasture. And declared Strike Two.
The Shrimp? SCORE! We liked. But didn't want Mom to order any more.
Eel? Two bites in, with a "Great sauce/tastes like chicken" declaration, I thought we had another winner. But bite number three didn't happen. Somewhere in there, I think he realized "Holy Heck! I'm actually eating eel." Mom finished that piece.
Smoked Salmon didn't fare any better. One tiny bite and he declared "I think I like the cooked stuff better."
Early on in the meal, he tried a teensy-tiny bite of ginger and decided it too spicy. So, I steered him way clear of the green horseradish. After all, my last sushi experience included a smear of wasabi that almost resulted in needing an Epi-pen in the middle of Costco***, so I didn't think I should subject my child to that kind of pain.
But, as our sushi date was winding to a close, Hoo decided it wouldn't be right-proper of him to leave the table without at least trying a LITTLE bit of it. I verified he knew what he was doing, told him he should try as little as possible, and reminded him of my Costco blunder. So, when he pulled his water close, picked up close to a teaspoon of the stuff and bit off a pencil eraser size of it, I thought "Will he bounce off the ceiling when he hits? Or will he go straight through the ceiling?"
This is when choosing a booth came in handy. He would suck down water (which didn't help), writhe from one side of the booth to the other making this half-human, half-chimpanzee sound, then suck more water. Meantime, he was half-laughing/half-crying, snorting "HOT!"
I was laughing so hard that the waitress thought I was insane. Wasabi-boy just kept bouncing on his side of the booth while I used my napkin to wipe the tears off my face.
When the pain finally stopped and he was almost done with his very tall glass of water, he looked across the table at me and said "I figured if Mater could do it, I could to."
His inspiration was Mater, the rusty old truck from Cars 2. Mater, who mistakenly thought the horseradish was pistachio ice cream.**** And ate about a half gallon of the stuff in one gigantic bite.
I'm still shaking my head that my son took a triple dog dare from a talking, rusty truck.
*YES. Loco. As in crazy. As in "You are crazy to eat sushi" or "You are crazy to eat here" or "We crossed cultures and languages to name our restaurant".
**OK. Just kidding. They don't serve that at Sushi Loco. But, in Japan? I don't know......
***YUP. They've got sushi, too!
****And after Hoo regained his composure, he added, all Mater style, "DON'T EAT THAT ICE CREAM!"