The Sweetest Fruit Ever

So, today is the day that God totally and completely and irreversibly blew.my.mind.

I've often told you, sweet readers, that there have been many times that God writes and I type.  One of those times happened in June and it about killed me.*

See, I was writing to a dear Mom who had lost her teenage daughter to Ewing Sarcoma.  And that revelation put me clearly in a zone of dealing with what had happened just a few months earlier when Mom died.  And, even though I was writing about someone else, God was using this opportunity to help me deal with my own grief.

There came a point when I was typing and I clearly felt I was supposed to type "strawberries" into the sentence I was composing.  I literally stopped typing and was mentally questioning God "Are you sure?  That seems AWFULLY specific.  I mean, what if that isn't exactly right.?  Won't she think I'm absolutely crazy?"

Do you hear God laughing at this line of reasoning, the way I do as I type this?  Here I am, typing at cheetah speed, clearly not of my own volition, and I'm questioning God about whether or not HE knows about the strawberries.

Yeah.  That was most clearly a time of doubt.  Not one I'll be proud to admit once I'm face-to-face with God later on.**  But, I typed the sentence and tried, to no avail, to dismiss my doubt as I delivered the entire message to my acquaintance's mailbox. 

Fast forward about eight weeks, when I had the good fortune to be wing man for The Babe's last lemonade stand of the summer.***  About 30 minutes into it, up drove my Mom acquaintance, and introduced herself and thanked me for the letter.  That was a precious few minutes I will never forget, with warm hugs and salty tears and words of thanks and gratitude and sorrow. 

And, in that moment, I asked about the strawberries, since the conversation had turned to the writing and how much it meant in the days after her daughter's death.

At first, there was hesitation.  I could clearly tell that the strawberry part of the post, this detail that had become such a huge deal in my mind, was my hang-up.  There were other pieces that took precedence in her mind;  other parts that brought her comfort.  That was a giant relief to me, again in my carnal mind, because she wasn't thinking "What an idiot!"

Then, today, I opened the mailbox to a note card with my name on it.  And inside, the most precious letter of thanks I think I've ever received.****  With a P.S. that reminded me that God is always watching, guiding, helping, and loving us:

"(---) did not eat much the last couple weeks of her life.  And probably the last food she took two tiny bites of--was strawberries...her request."

I collapsed in a puddle of tears.  I couldn't believe the trust I had been given.  I couldn't believe I had doubted God.  I couldn't believe a God so big cared for little me and that He was winking at me, probably standing beside one of his newest saints to come home.

If there is one thing I've learned from this whole experience, it is that you never know who is going to be affected when you do something that you feel directed by God to do.  Even if it seems absolutely, over-the-top, crazy nuts in the moment.  Even if you have doubts.  Even if you are worried about what other people might think.

Because He is good.
No, He is great.
HE is GOD.


And what a privilege it is to serve Him.



*In case you missed it the first time around, click here to view the post.  Just know you'll need kleenex while you read and a good nap afterward.

**But, one I'm glad to admit to so I can repent of that sin.
***Made $6.  Not bad unless you factor in that I had to chug about as much bottled water to survive the heat, which made the whole thing an economic wash.

****Really, this is a thank you note to God, because I'm just the vessel.