I figure I'm not the only one who has issues with attention. (Squirrel!)
So, to prove my point, I started to copy a quiz to demonstrate that we ALL have some tendencies toward ADD/ADHD.
But, midway through copying the thing it in its entirety from another website (don't sue me--I'm not claiming credit...for the SQUIRREL!*), I realized that wasn't necessary.
Why? Because it dawned on me, about Q5, that the diagnosis of ADD/ADHD could also be the diagnosis of Mommyhood.
Follow me.....
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Is your desk piled high with files, publications, and unfiled documents?
Yes. Did I miss a memo that said "Desks aren't for piling"? Who has time to read, sort, and file anything when every minute is about wiping dirty bottoms, preparing meals, washing clothes, driving carpool, etc, etc, etc.
Do you stack materials on all available surfaces, including the chairs, sofa or floor?
Let's see. I put clean, dry laundry on the chairs and sofa and dirty laundry on the floor. Though, honestly, sometimes I lay dirty clothes at the bottom of the bed when I'm really tired. Oh! And the kids sort through the clean clothes and some of them end up on the floor mixed with the dirty stuff.
And, I consider anything horizontal, beyond the length of the longest arm of my oldest child, a logical place to stack stuff.
I guess that's a resounding YES.
On a typical day, do you tend to handle whatever comes up rather than following a schedule or prioritized to-do list?
Hmmmmm. Sign a permission slip that has to be retrieved from beneath the seat of the very back of the car and signed THAT INSTANT or child won't go on trip vs. get out the door on time???** Deal with a complete meltdown in the chip aisle at Kroger or be home on time to get dinner on the table by 6pm????
Do I get points for having a list, even though it is on the bottom of the pile on my desk?
Do you "do your best work" under pressure at the last minute?
I can clean an entire mouth full of five-year-old teeth in .0000008 seconds flat if I know that I only have five minutes to complete the bedtime routine before The Middle comes on. So, YES!
Do you get distracted easily?
What? I'm sorry, did you say something? I can't hear you over the children. BOYS! STOP IT!
Does your mind wander in meetings or even during one-on-one conversation?Yes. It takes wild trips to the days when Mike and I actually had personal space, unlimited time for showers, and mornings to sleep in.
Do you spend a lot of time hunting down lost papers or files?
No. They are piled high on my desk next to the publications and unfiled documents.
Apparently, SOMEONE has a little issue with memory. Ahem.
Do you reschedule business and social appointments frequently to accommodate spur-of-the-moment changes?
I have nothing remotely businesslike or social to really reschedule, unless trips to the bank to deposit Mike's check or meeting a girlfriend and her kids at Chick-Fil-A count.
Those things? I try NEVER to reschedule. They help me keep my personal sanity.
Do you have repeated conflicts with co-workers, family members, waiters, or other service people?
Are you kidding me? I have three CHILDREN. If you record the word children and play it backwards on a turntable, the word "conflict" plays over and over and over again in a really dark, evil voice.
Are you easily frustrated? Do you routinely get upset in traffic, or waiting in lines at the store or bank?
I count it as the most exciting time of my life when the person ahead of me thinks my children are impatient because s/he chose to get in the 20 Items Or Less line with a month's worth of groceries. Doesn't everything think that's fun and invigorating?
Do you listen until someone completes their thought, or do you frequently interrupt them because you're sure you know where the conversation is headed?
Listen, buddy. I'm a Mother. Part of my job description is "eyes in the back of my head" and "mind reader". I frequently interrupt because NOT interrupting would be a complete waste of my time.
Do you find you're sleeping too much or too little?
As if there is a CHOICE?
Are you subject to mood swings?
Let me introduce you to them: Cranky, Bitchy, and Spiteful. I borrowed them from my Mother, who borrowed them from hers, and so forth, up the family line. They are kin to me and I would appreciate it if you would learn to embrace them, instead of trying to move them out of my life.
Are you distressed, anxious, or upset, sometimes out of proportion to the situation?
If catching a child's poo with your bare hands in the drive-thru of a Dairy Queen in podunk East Texas*** doesn't count as distressing, anxiety-producing, and upsetting, in complete proportion to the grossness factor then, NO. Never.
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Once my children have left the building and I am no longer responsible for anybody but my mood swings, I may consider retaking this quiz. Maybe even in its entirety. Because I'll have time.
Then, and only then, will we truly know if it's just me being a Mom or a true attention problem.
*UP. Still can't bear to watch it. But, the dogs are greatness, even if I'm watching them through tear-filled eyes.
*"Hump. Death. Hump. Death." Classic from History of the World, Part I.
**For more information, please see "Baby Playdoh Machine" post on 7/25/09. NOT for the squeamish.
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