Monday, March 8, 2010

Cutting Edge Toys

Mighty Beans.

No, it's not the latest in GMO, gas-producing edible protein. It's a toy.

And my kids would die for it.

And Target has managed to run out of them twice in the last two weeks.

Oh, and conveniently raised the price $1/pack so our little lesson in "saving your money until you have enough" is sucker-punched whilst standing in the biggest echo chamber on the face of the Earth.* Which, of course, means the wailing that is about to commence from my child, who has diligently saved his money and wants his beans NOW**, is going to be heard as far North as Oklahoma and down into Mexico.

This is one of those moments, as a parent, where there is absolutely no win. You're darned if you do and darned if you don't. Nothing will appease the child at this point, even the $100 set of Legos***, because you suck as a parent. Somehow, YOU are responsible for Target's lack of ordering-forethought. YOU are responsible for the truck carrying the beans that got a flat somewhere North of Des Moines that is causing this travesty to happen. YOU are responsible for the fact that the rain didn't stop all day long and Junior couldn't play outside.

All because of a stupid, plastic, magnet-infused, cheap, piece of junk toy. That won't matter next week.

Curse you, Target. Curse you.


*Who the heck designed the Super Target? If a baby farts in the children's section, halfway across the store from the Starbucks counter, easily 1/2 mile away, I can hear it. The acoustics in these places suck!

**Not when they are restocked, Mr. TargetMan. NOW. As in THIS SECOND. Even if you have to drive to China to get them.

***Which we are never desperate enough to pony-up the coin for.

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