The Babe has discovered a phrase that is driving me crazier than I was before. Not only is it so grammatically incorrect that it takes years off my life every time I hear it, but it is also NOT something that should come out of a four year old's mouth.
It always starts the same way
1. Cock body and head slightly to the side
2. Put hands about head height and stick fingers out, as if they are magnetized apart due to a ginormous electric shock
3. Throw thumb against palm
4. Scream "WHAT UP, SUCKER?"
"What up, sucker?" Is there some four-year-old gang in my new neighborhood I don't know about? Is he being initiated as I write this? Does this explain his new fascination with all things gun?
We have plans to spend Christmas in California this year. I will be placing a blindfold over his eyes and ear plugs in his ears the minute we land so he isn't exposed to ANYTHING ELSE from L.A.* Heaven help us all should he actually put eyes to a REAL gangsta.
And to the fine person in the Whole Foods parking lot last week who thought everyone from Kalamzoo to Sacramento needed to listen to rap music: my son liked it. The beat got his attention and he was all about the bass and the car vibration. He wanted to know if I could tune MY stereo to that junk.
UM, not just no. Heck NO.
From me to you, Mercedes-Benz driving, musically-tasteless, child influencer: if I EVER catch you again in that same parking lot, I'm gonna take you down, Mommy-style. I'm walking straight back into Whole Foods, finding the nice security guard, and dragging him back to your car so he can give you a little lecture on "noise pollution".
Your Momma would WANT me to do this. And, it will keep you from unintentionally having a inharmonious musical impact on the under-tween set.
Take that, sucker.
*I just hope the wierdness of the get-up doesn't cause us to be mistaken for members of the Jackson family.
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