When you have children with learning issues and attention problems you think you've heard it all. Then, someone else opens their mouth, totally unaware that what they have said is not only inaccurate, but also highly inappropriate.
Over the years, we've tried to let ignorance slide. The operative word in that sentence is "tried". There are just some times, when people say or do things, that really stick in your craw.
Oftentimes, we've tried to politely correct. That has been met with deer in the headlights looks, indifference, or comments about not wanting to "coddle" children because it will ruin them later.
Often, especially with "medical professionals", we've had to stand our ground. Their answers tend to be pat and predictable and unacceptable, in our eyes. I've even had to go so far as to tell one person "I think we need to agree to disagree on this issue" because he just couldn't believe a homemaker Mom without his pedigree wouldn't want to take his advice.*
What we know to the core of our beings is that God gave us these boys. We are uniquely equipped to teach and train and correct them. We know their strengths and weaknesses as well as we know our own. We want them to be successful in God's eyes and in their own right. And that may look vastly different from what the world considers successful.
Notice I didn't say we want our kids to be "happy". Content, sure. Loved and Loving, absolutely. Christlike, positively at the top of the list. But our lives aren't guaranteed happy. And many people chase happy all the way to their grave, stopping along the way to try out relationships and booze and careers that never bring them to that elusive state.
The Lord's standards are so vastly different from what the world peddles as important. Those who wish to be graded by the world look at grades and beauty and social status and wealth and weight and height to determine a person's worth. The Lord, on the other hand, looks straight at our hearts. If our hearts aren't right? Then we have work to do, whether we are an A+ student with zits and twenty pounds to lose or the Valedictorian star of the basketball team who has his pick of the girls to invite to the homecoming dance.
When I hear comments such as "Look at this grade! I'm so smart!", I want to throw a temper tantrum. Grades, while an important indication of what has been learned and what is yet to be learned, are not the basis of a person's intelligence. They are simply a mark of learning on a specific day at a specific time on a specific topic.
Instead of grades and "smarts", we should be chasing wisdom, the type King David was granted in the Bible. Psalm 4 is one of my favorites on this subject, especially verses 4-7.
Then he taught me, and he said to me,
“Take hold of my words with all your heart;
keep my commands, and you will live.
Get wisdom, get understanding;
do not forget my words or turn away from them.
Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you;
love her, and she will watch over you.
The beginning of wisdom is this: Get wisdom.
Though it cost all you have, get understanding.
Do you hear the urgency in these verses? Grab ahold of the commands to live! Don't forget my words or turn from them! Wisdom, loved, is your protection! No matter what, no matter the cost, seek understanding!
These verses don't extol perfection in learning spelling words or striving for 100 percent, 100 percent of the time on quizzes or worrying about the perfect sentence structure. These verses point us to the Bible and tell us to know our God. Learn about what He says. Grab ahold of His teaching and love it fiercely so your very life can be lived to the fullest.
So, this is what I'm going to strive to teach my kids as the progress through school. This is who I want to be when they come to me with a paper that has a grade.
"So what you made a 50% on a science quiz? That's 50% more than you knew yesterday and an indication of the 50% you still have to learn. More importantly, did you gain wisdom and understanding of God's great world in the process? He created that amoeba, causes those chemical reactions, makes gravity work, day in and day out. And, he gave you parents who can help you discover that other 50%."
"I'm glad you were able to accomplish 75% on that spelling test. What an amazing God who created language! Thank goodness we all don't live in a town named Babel. And I'm glad you can spell "love" because that is what I'm feeling for you right now."
"A 99%?! In a subject you adore? Maybe this is the area God will place in your heart and mind to pursue as a career, to His glory?** I'm glad you were able to master this area and enjoy it so much. But, remember: if you aren't doing everything with God in mind, then even a perfect grade isn't worth pursuing."
In the grand scheme of things, we are all learning different. No two people learn the same way and our ways often seem odd to others. But, God knows how we learn. He sends situations into our lives that create "AHA!" moments that others pass right by. He slips the perfect scripture or lyric into our day to remind us how much He loves us. And He desires that WE gain wisdom and understanding from Him.
How much more of an education could we possibly ask for or deserve?
**But, who really knows...maybe next year, this will be your worst subject and science will be your best.
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