Serenity Now!

Even though I've considered the option of having one or both of the cars painted yellow and black checkerboard to match my chosen profession*, I still prefer to be in the passenger seat. Thankfully, I married a man who loves to drive.

Of course, he only loves to drive with me when I do what comes naturally in the passenger seat: sleep.

This morning we both road the carpool route, as the Hooman had a special request to have both Mom AND Dad take him to school.**

So, we assumed positions:
Mike--driver
Me--passenger
Hooman--back seat passenger
Doug and Tex--somewhere in the back of the car, seat belt optional

It became obvious we were going to have a problem when I realized Mike was tootling through the school zone a little faster than I would have normally driven.

My first comment was gentle: "Honey? You're in a school zone." He didn't say much.

The next school zone we came to was after drop off. We were a full eight miles over the limit and my head was calculating the ENORMOUS ticket we were going to receive when Ponch and Jon came out of nowhere on their motorcycles. I was a little less than tactful.

"YOU'RE GOING EIGHT MILES OVER THE LIMIT!!! DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THE TICKET FOR THAT WILL BE?" Then I said something about "Other people slow down for our kids in school zones. You should show the same respect to THEIR kids."***

Mike did his typical "I married the world's biggest nag" mouth purse and didn't say a thing. And I ignored the three miles and one mile over the limit in the next two school zones and took my silent treatment like a (wo)man.

And, I'm sure, in his head, Mike was doing his best imitation of George Castanza's Father from Seinfeld.****

God Bless that sweet hubby of mine.



*Taxi driver...just in case your morning cup of glory hasn't kicked in yet.

**I guess he wanted to scare the living daylights out of his principal. Let's just say you could have refilled the oil in the Prius by scraping my face and squeezing my hair.

***And I calculated the embarrassment factor of meeting Erik Estrada looking like I belong in a Jiffy Lube.

****www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEMHtoWGLW0