The Pike

Forgive me today because I am raw;  I drop the "F-bomb" at the bottom of this writing.  So, if your kids are looking over your shoulder, time to turn off your browser.
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Over the years, I have probably heard the phrase "It's coming down the pike" about a billion times, give or take a few thousand.  If you are a geek like me (read, always curious), check out this link about the origin of the phrase.

In my life these past few months, there have been plenty of things coming down the proverbial pike.  I'm pretty sure if I pulled up the "life stresses scale", my score wouldn't even be a 10.  I guess that is partially to blame/thank for the fact that I don't look at change as being stressful;  change just is what it is.  But, I also know that trying to ignore stress and acting like it doesn't exist, even when it hasn't bubbled to the surface in the form of illness or anger or mental break, is playing with fire.

So, today, I had a really good cry.  The slobbery, snotty kind of cry that is cathartic.

*I said goodbye in my head to my kids graduating from the same school. 
*I prayed over Boston and the little 8-year-old boy who died there.  I let my brain acknowledge that fact that if this had happened at one of Mike's races you might be hearing about Aaron. 
*I let myself cry over Mr. Rogers being gone...again.  His quote hit home:  “When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, "Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” 
*I let the fact that some one I dearly love is leaving very soon to a new home, much too far away, if I let myself be honest and super, super, duper selfish.  Up until today, I had buried that fact in the back of my brain and wouldn't even acknowledge it when it tried to make me sad.  
*I regretted harsh words and angry outbursts and causing unnecessary tears. 

I just let it all out.  And then it was over.  I pulled on my big girl pants and thought FUCK YOU SATAN.

You are not going to destroy my joy.
You are not going to pull me into your pit.
You are not going to keep me from embracing every little-itty bit of life that I have left to live.

So, take that right back to your hellish sulfur pit of a home, sit on it and spin!

I am going to proudly display stickers for two schools and volunteer at two different campuses and get excited that I have the privilege of knowing two, distinct school songs.  I'm going to rejoice that my kids are where they need to be at this moment in time.  And, if there is a need for change in the future, I'm going to face it head-on and get to work praying over the decision.

I am going to turn off the TV and the radio and listen to CDs and watch old movies that make me happy.  I am going to stop clicking on the "latest" headlines for a bit.  I am going to pray over all those who have been touched instead of wasting my time listening to "developing" news.  I'm going to pray that we can all forgive each other.  And when they finally convict the assholes who did this, then I will listen.  That's when we will have all the facts.  And, I will pray that those who committed these horrific crimes will turn to Jesus for forgiveness, redemption, and salvation.
      
I'm going to let Mr. Rogers continue to inspire me.  I am going to be a helper for someone who can't help themselves.  I am going to pray for opportunities to cross my path and I'm going to respond.  I am going on a "one woman, Random Acts of Kindness" crusade.  (Look out, it might be headed your way!)

I am going to help my friend pack or drink or whatever she needs so this move will be less of a burden on her.  I am going to be happy for her, instead of sad for myself.  I am going to remember that the people who touch us the most in this life never really leave us, even if they are hours removed from us or away in Heaven.  I am going to allow myself to cry a bit as I watch her car pull away that last time, but I'm not going to let it ruin my life.  Instead, I'm going to run inside, pull up my calendar, and plan my first trip to see her.  And, I'll probably text her ten minutes into her trip home to bug her about scheduling.

I am going to approach those I've hurt and say I'm sorry or Will you forgive me.  And, I'm going to do it sooner than later.  If Boston reminded me of anything it is that life is a whisper, a breath, a drop of water in a vast ocean.  You don't always get second chances to say the right things to the people you love, so you MUST speak blessings and love over people every.single.chance you get.

But, I am most excited to get outside and run for the first time in many months.  I'm going to run until my lungs burn and my head aches and my feet are begging me to quit.  Then, I'm going to walk.  And, each step of the way I'll be running and walking for those who lost a limb or a loved one or their hope.  I'll be praying them back to health and life and love.

Because there is one thing I know above everything else that this evil old world is trying to sell me at the moment:  Jesus is STILL on this throne.

And, in the end, love WILL reign.