School Days

I'm home schooling now. I am, by profession, a teacher. This should be a piece of cake.

Emphasis here on the words "should" and "be".

Here's the part that was left out of the "HOME SCHOOLING FOR DUMMIES" manual that I, conveniently, never received, but imagine exists somewhere:*

1. You are dealing with your own child, not some kid from outer space. You know his buttons, he knows yours. A day without bloodshed and tears is a complete victory.

2. It is super, duper, pooper-scooper easy to lose track of, waste, forget, and ignore time when you are home schooling.** Truly, minutes feel like hours, some times.

3. It is best to try to stand up every 45 minutes and pinch yourself so you remember that you are still alive and you will, eventually, have a life outside of the dining room-cum-classroom. Just not today. Or tomorrow.

4. Lunch should be a solid hour in home school cultures. By this critical time in your day, you've downed two pots of coffee. It will take a good fifteen of the sixty minutes you set aside for lunching to rid your bladder of its intake.

5. Chairs that are uncomfortable for the duration of a dinner party are exponentially more so with the addition of hours of math, reading and science added on to them. Magically, spelling seems to harden the wood of the seats.

6. There is never, ever, ever a good enough excuse for not pausing a lesson to retrieve a pillow from some random bed close to your "school room". Run, don't walk, to find that all-important cushion for your backside. You can think of practically nothing else when you realize you've purchased the most heinously painful chairs in the history of dining sets.

But, do you know the greatest part? In the last week, I've spent more time with my little guy really talking, sometimes laughing, definitely smiling, and enjoying each other's company. It has been great. And I wouldn't give it back for the world.

Now those dining room chairs? I'd light the match if someone would build a backyard bonfire with them.....


*Frankly, even if it did exist, I'd have no time to read it anyway, so I guess it really doesn't matter.

**If I had a choice, we'd become the Emerald City ISD and "Get up at noon and start to work at one. Take a hour for lunch and then at two we're done". Jolly Good Fun.***

***Yes, another Wizard of Oz reference. One of the last remaining munchkins died this week and it's got me waxing nostalgic.