Lost Teeth

With three kids yet to reach their teenage years, someone around here always has a loose tooth or a tooth that is becoming loose or a tooth that is bothering them because they are eating something a) too cold b) too hot c) lukewarm.

Generally, bothersome teeth are responding to a food that they don't particularly care for.  They are picky that way, don't you know?

But, yesterday was the tip top day for teeth around here.  We had not one but TWO teeth on the verge of falling out.  Needless to say, the Tooth Fairy was on HIGH alert. 

Now, I ascribe to the theory that kids fall into one of two categories when it comes to loose teeth:
1)  "I have a loose tooth.  It is bleeding a bit and hurting.  But, by God, no one is going to TOUCH this thing."
2)  "I have a loose tooth.  If I twist and probe with my tongue, maybe I can have that sucker out by bedtime and score some cash!"

Back in the day, both Mike and I fell hard on the side of #2.  Our kids, on the other hand, are a split bunch.  Sometimes they want Mom to make a "floss lasso" and try to yank that bad boy out.  Sometimes they won't let me do much more than observe the tooth with my eyes.  But, regardless about how they are feeling about me touching their chompers, they NEVER want Mike to touch their mouths;  he has this little issue with taking teeth out when no one has made a request. That has garnered him a bad reputation when it comes to what they all consider "unwarranted teeth extraction".

For most of his life, The Babe has fallen on the cash on the barrel head side of the great tooth debate.  But, for the first of his front, top teeth he decided to become a let's wait this out boy.  That darn tooth stood slightly sideways, making him look like a hillbilly-in-training, for about two weeks.  Anyone who got near it was slapped down.  This tooth, he declared, was going to fall out by itself, thank you very much!

Yesterday, though, this became an issue for two reasons:
1.  he discovered the Froyo he earned by being diligent with his reading program was really making his front tooth feel funky.  And not funky as in "get down, get down, get down, get down, get down tonight, baby".  Funky as in "I don't think I can finish my treat because my tooth is sensitive to the cold and that is not only abnormal and unnatural but that might mean Mom would give the rest to one of my brothers and that just ain't happening on my shift".*

2.  peer pressure finally got the best of him.  When a slightly older friend questioned his logic, The Babe had no choice but to fake a small tug (no more than a baby's breath, I assure you) and that thing popped clean out.

Hooman, on the other hand, has had a molar giving him grief for a few weeks now.  Try as he might, that thing wanted to be a permanent resident of his mouth.  Finally, last night, he had had enough.  It was time to evict that pesky resident once and for all.

Honestly, I think this move was courtesy of this little thing called competition, because as soon as little brother came through the door flashing a smile with a gaping hole in it, it was on.  Like Donkey Kong.

But, a few tongue wiggles, a few finger probes and one floss lasso later, he was holding a molar in his hand.  Aloud he reminded the Tooth Fairy that she was broke for his first lost molar and only left $1 and that this tooth was worth $5.

I'm not sure WHO he thought he was talking to because I didn't see anyone who resembled a fairy in this house, but it apparently worked because he was five smackers richer this morning.

Mike and I are purposely willing Nickels' teeth to stay in his mouth.  We're doing teeth dances at night, after the rest of the house is quietly asleep, strengthening the roots by proxy and magic.  See, once he loses the last molar?  Time for his orthodontic appointment.

Cha-ching.  That's the only sound I hear when I use the word "braces".  And, when the word "INVISALIGN" is added to the mix, I contemplate whether retirement is really a reality for our future.

But, for all the fun we are having with teeth around here, we sure are glad we have them.  After all, we'd be an ugly bunch with nothing but gums, I can assure you that. 


*He finished the whole thing by shifting all the yogurt to one side of his mouth.  Smartypants.