In All Shapes and Sizes

I must have flunked kindergarten. Or been held back multiple times. Or something.

I can't make a circle to save my soul.

I discovered this when I decided it would be *fun* to try and make homemade tortillas. In retrospect, it was easy. It was simple. But it wasn't very fun. By the time I finished, I had smoked up the house* to the point that I'm surprised the security system didn't alert the hook and ladder to come. Quickly.

Smokey house + one and a half hours = eight paltry tortillas.

One was the shape of Oklahoma. One looked like the vaginas in the sex ed books we "studied" back in the day. Some were so unevenly flattened that the thick parts came out looking puffed up like a proud sopapilla.

And one. JUST one. Actually looked like a circle. It was my last attempt at rolling.

I think it was an accident, actually.

This morning, again, I tried my hand at rolling the leftover dough. I got a couple of tortillas that looked like long rectangles, a couple that looked like circles with appendages, and one really, really good one.

Everyone just LOVES this new treat, so now I've gone and done it. I have to perfect the circle.

All those years of avoiding homemade/home rolled pie crusts have come home to roost. Now my rolling pin has absolutely not one shred of respect for me.

I beg you to come to my house if you can help. I promise to provide you with your fill of cooked tortillas once we're done.

But you may have to find me through the smokey haze. Just sayin'.....


*I should think a canola/olive oil blend would have a much higher smoking point than "medium". Mike, on the other hand, thinks I should have a much more developed sense of when to turn on the fan over the stove.**

**That would be EVERY TIME I COOK. Not sure this is a compliment.