God can heal a broken heart, but He has to have all the pieces. ~Author Unknown
When's the last time you YELLED at God?
Wait! You grew up in a church where yelling at God wasn't, say, KOSHER? It was unacceptable? "Polite" people don't do that?
Well, me too.
Nobody taught me to yell at God. I learned to do that myself. I, erroneously, thought that, through my yelling, I was "giving God all the pieces".
Am I particularly proud of that fact? No. I wish I could communicate like Michelle Duggar* and have even emotions and flat conversations that resolve issues without raised voices. That's just not me.
And God knows that. In fact, at times, even my family knows that.** Some days, I'm pretty sure my neighbors even know it.
So, by way of introduction: "Hello. My name is MommaJ. And I'm a yeller."
I don't like being a yeller. I want to be even-tempered. I want to be kind and soft-spoken and gentle with my words. Instead, sometimes I seem to be malicious, hard, and sand-papery.
I am convicted by passages like James 3:6: "The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell."
OUCH. That one burns.
Or how about this?
Luke 17:1-3..."Jesus said to his disciples: “Things that cause people to stumble are bound to come, but woe to anyone through whom they come. It would be better for them to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around their neck than to cause one of these little ones to stumble. So watch yourselves."
My yelling does cause my little ones to stumble. It causes them to yell back or start crying, which causes anger and hurt, which I know isn't something God wants in their little lives.
And the Word further convinces me of my need to change as I read James 1:19-20: "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires."
My yelling is a quick reaction. It causes me to ignore my God-given ability to listen. It causes anger. Which leads to a break in my lifeline to God.
My yelling is a lifetime habit. And, as I discovered when I donated quite a few quarters trying to break my propensity to cussing, habits are very hard to break.
But, I think teaching my boys and having pity on Mike and the neighbors is a worthy, if not lofty, goal.
So, today, I publish my New Year's Resolution for 2011***: I am going to quit yelling. I'm going to attempt to replicate 2 Samuel 23:2: “The Spirit of the LORD spoke through me; his word was on my tongue." instead of getting riled up by the world and letting evil speak through me.
Out come the quarters again. But, this time, because I think it is SO important, I'm spending four at a time.
Yup. A buck for every time I yell.
And every penny of it will come out of a small bit of inheritance money I received from my Grandmother. That I'm supposed to be saving to take a trip with my friend in 2011.
Here's to having enough left over that we don't have to hitchhike to our destination.....
*Of "19 Kids and Counting" fame. Who has NEVER, EVER, EVER raised her voice in all the years I've been watching the show.
**Alright, peanut gallery. Shut it.
***I'm getting a head start in the last 41 days of 2010. I figure I'll need that much time to get good and ready for this challenge.