Wednesday, February 10, 2010

How's that Bet Going?

The following is for dramatic purposes only. I do NOT have nosy neighbors. They are, as a lot, some of the nicest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing. This commentary, therefore, should not reflect negatively on anybody but MOI. Capiche?

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Nosy Neighbor (incredulously): "Is that a Brinks truck that just pulled away from the curb in front of your house?"

ME (not making eye contact): "Yes. Yes, it is."

Nosy Neighbor (in a rather catty way): "Why?"

ME (wondering why I am having to admit this): "Well, they were collecting on the bet. For January."

Nosy Neighbor (said nervously, probably worrying that I may be the Mafia Wife next door): "Bet?"

ME (mumbling): "The cussing bet."

Nosy Neighbor (large crease in forehead): "I'm sorry?"

ME (turning repentant): "No, really, I'm sorry. I decided to give up cussing for New Year's 2010. And I've completely blown it, almost daily, since then."

Nosy Neighbor (cupping hands around her child's ears and salivating at the juicy gossip she is receiving): "REALLY?"

ME (in hyper-repentant mode, completely unable to control my mouth): "Yeah, really. There was one day I went on a rant and cost the budget over $5. In less than 5 minutes. It's not good."

Nosy Neighbor (squeezing her child's ears so hard that I expect his brains to start oozing out his nose): "Oh my."

ME (sheepishly. Looking for sympathy or forgiveness or laughter.): "Yeah. Not proud."

Nosy Neighbor (walking briskly away, conveying her child, one foot off the ground, by his ears): "Well. I guess I should start dinner. Nice talking to you."

ME (smiling in a very insecure way): "Yeah, dinner awaits. Talk soon?"

Nosy Neighbor (Practically running for cover, child's ears now pressurized against her palms) doesn't respond.

I take that as a "no".

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