Solicitation, Cha Cha Cha

Solicitation, cha cha cha
Solicitation, cha cha cha
Some people think it's funny
But it's really brown and runny
Solicitation, cha cha cha

If I have catapulted you back to days on the playground, peppered by snacks, naps and ABCs, I've accomplished my purpose. I was hoping you could understand how I was feeling.

When I answered the phone this morning, some person starting belching information about "such and such party" in the state that "needs my $100 support" to "fight the good fight". Only a five-year-old could stand such a call. My children might counteract the ridiculousness with the diarrhea song. Being an adult, though, I had to suppress the urge to bust a move whilst screaming these lyrics into the phone.

Hey! News flash! The person who does my massage once a year needs my $100 support, too. But she doesn't call me at home and interrupt my day to spew massage rhetoric and ask for my support. And, by golly, she KNOWS I need a good massage, most definitely more often than I currently receive one, to fight the good fight I deal with on a daily basis as a Mother.

Let's just get one thing straight in this election year: The Temptations weren't talking about political candidates when they wrote "Ain't Too Proud to Beg".

And, since I don't have caller ID, I'll be picking up the phone next time you call. Please use your manners and ASK if I want to hear your little speech. I'll tell you "no", we can mutually agree to part ways like civil folk, and you'll save yourself larynx exhaustion. And I won't come one step closer to committing hari-kari.

I think that's a policy we can ALL agree upon.