Muscles Sprains Galore

I sprained my tongue. No joke. I was making all "wah-wah" at Mike, using way-overexagerrated mouth movements, and that sucker just went "ZOING!". Then came this funky pain, that started under the right side of my tongue and radiated all the way down my neck. It was absolutely excruciating and weird all at the same time.

It felt like God had reached down with a baby lightning bolt and interceded on Mike's behalf to get me to SHUT THE HECK UP.*

I was so surprised, I stopped making fun of Mike's situation, which, incidentally, was something like "What restaurant should I leave the house to go to with my friend? The expensive one or the MORE expensive one?" When the menu at home was pb&j with the kids, followed closely by dishes, I felt his dilemma deserved a little well place "wah-wah" action.

What it didn't deserve was a sprained tongue.

Anyway.

Fast forward to two weekends ago. I decided it would be a good idea to "clean out" the flower beds in the backyard. Normally, Mike does this, but he was out of town** with the guys, so I decided to be the "good" wife and surprise him with my ability to pull ill-placed, nuisance weeds.

Today, two weeks later, I still can hardly bend at the waist without the thigh in my left leg going "ZOING!" My days as a weeder have temporarily ended.

Thankfully, for me, my tongue has righted itself, so I have the ability to complain.

This leg issue has been useful in making my kids do the "right thing" by cleaning up the floors of the rooms they manage to cover with Legos, books, and DS games each and every day of my life. The phrase "Mommy can't" followed by a ten-minute tongue wagging on my latest injury is enough to make them spring into action. Just to shut me up.

So, I'm nursing my wound, literally and figuratively, for all it is worth. Probably, a good massage or an hour of yoga would cure my ills. But, then who would be available to complain?

What do you think my boys would do if I stopped all the "wah-wah" talk and went silent? I know the ubiquitous phrase "Silence is golden." But, is it really?

I, for one, am not about to find out.

"BOYS!? Come clean up this room!"

ZOING.


*Yes, this is a recurring theme in my life. You'd think I'd have gotten the hint by now.

**Probably eating at an expensive restaurant. But, I'm not bitter in the least. No.