Wordly Wise

In a recent column on relationships in All You magazine (What do you mean you haven't subscribed yet?!  I've only been screaming about how this is my favorite magazine for what, a thousand years or so?!), there was a portion of the page devoted to choosing words wisely.  I thought there was so much wisdom in the article that I clipped it and put it on my desk.

Today, that same article caught my eye as I finished up a sentence that sounded something like this:

"You HAVE TO finish this work because you ALWAYS lose something you are working on and we SHOULDn't have to stand over you like a third grader who NEVER keeps up with his note cards BUT we do!"

Broke every.cardinal.rule.people.

For your enlightenment, here is how the regular Joe interprets the following words and why the words are considered so negative (and to recap, the words are from ALL YOU magazine;  some of the descriptions have been altered to match MommaJ's spin on life.  As I always say:  credit where credit is due):

BUT negates everything that came before it ("I like you BUT I think we should just be friends.")  Replacing but with AND creates a more honest perception of what you are saying;  it tells the listener you aren't trying to sugarcoat the issue.

SHOULD creates the perception of an impending lecture.  I still like the 90's saying "Don't should all over me."

HAVE TO is a command that sounds bossy and presumptuous.  My all-time favorite response to this question (and the most annoying if you are a parent):  "What if I don't WANT TO?"

ALWAYS is generally an exaggeration and is mostly a way of telling someone they did not do something, instead of just telling them directly ("You always leave your dirty socks in the bathroom.")  Better to just say "Please pick up your socks" and can the absolutes.

NEVER is the wicked step-child of always, generally used as a hostile way of communicating.  Unless you are writing songs and making millions, like Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber, never should be struck from your vocabulary.

Now I HAVE TO apologize to my son because I NEVER give him credit for ALWAYS being my sunshine, even when he SHOULD be more organized, BUT that really isn't the point, is it?