Social media is informing a complete generation on how to behave badly. Behind a computer or phone screen, hurtful words are easy to type and easy to send. Children who would NEVER, in a million years, say what they are sending directly to the face of the person who is receiving them are spouting hateful, mean-spirited words every day. But, somehow, it is "acceptable" when a screen stands between the writer and receiver.
To the person on the receiving end, negative words are daggers. And when those daggers are received, day after day, month over month, year over year, there is hurt beyond words to be dealt with. Most kids aren't equipped to deal with this kind of ugliness. Frankly, most adults aren't either. God bless Jennifer Livingston for having the nerve to call a spade a spade!
I think one of the best thing parents can do is closely monitor their own children's online social activity. Know their passwords, explain you will be randomly checking their correspondence and then, follow through. Because, as Voltaire said eons ago: with great power comes great responsibility. In parenting, the quote can be modified to say: bestowing great power requires great oversight.
No doubt, if these weren't the rules when you began allowing your child online, you will likely be accused of "spying" or "violating privacy" or some such other emotional junk. But, don't allow that to stop you! Your child has the ability to be online courtesy of you and your pocketbook. Your child is living in your house and the rules you set, no matter when you set them, are the rules they will follow. Period.
And don't forget that your child may not want you to access his/her online activities because they are trying to "protect" themselves because THEY are the target. How will you know this if you don't do a bit of checking up on them? What we don't know CAN hurt our children!
And while I should probably be looking around their Itouches more often, I can attest that random checks equaled finding things that weren't savory being sent from my own house. I was amazed to find that one of my boys had typed "LMFAO" to an acquaintance at his school.
To be sure my son understood how completely unacceptable this was, I had him apologize online to the person who received the text. Though the receiver thought the apology was "funny" and said it was "OK", I felt this step hit its intended target. I don't want my son, who cringes when I use any off-color word, to be labeled as a kid who curses online, because that really isn't who he is...that is some "cool" persona he thinks he can take on to be accepted. The acceptance he is craving will never come from other tweens and teens...it will come from knowing he is loved unconditionally at home and unconditionally by Christ!
Acting appropriately by choosing our online words carefully is another example of being sure we watch what we say and do.
I end with Psalm 64, verses 1-9, a reminder that we can be the wicked or the innocent on any given day, in any given text or message, depending on how we choose to use social media.
God help us all to choose the righteous path!
1 Hear me, my God, as I voice my complaint;
protect my life from the threat of the enemy.
2 Hide me from the conspiracy of the wicked,
from the plots of evildoers.
3 They sharpen their tongues like swords
and aim cruel words like deadly arrows.
4 They shoot from ambush at the innocent;
they shoot suddenly, without fear.
from the plots of evildoers.
3 They sharpen their tongues like swords
and aim cruel words like deadly arrows.
4 They shoot from ambush at the innocent;
they shoot suddenly, without fear.
5 They encourage each other in evil plans,
they talk about hiding their snares;
they say, “Who will see it[b]?”
6 They plot injustice and say,
“We have devised a perfect plan!”
Surely the human mind and heart are cunning.
they talk about hiding their snares;
they say, “Who will see it[b]?”
6 They plot injustice and say,
“We have devised a perfect plan!”
Surely the human mind and heart are cunning.
7 But God will shoot them with his arrows;
they will suddenly be struck down.
8 He will turn their own tongues against them
and bring them to ruin;
all who see them will shake their heads in scorn.
9 All people will fear;
they will proclaim the works of God
and ponder what he has done.
they will suddenly be struck down.
8 He will turn their own tongues against them
and bring them to ruin;
all who see them will shake their heads in scorn.
9 All people will fear;
they will proclaim the works of God
and ponder what he has done.
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