More Fun Than (and almost as expensive as) a Colonoscopy

Any good story has a corollary and a moral, so here's the painfully awful/awesome end to this one....

1a.  Unless you are Johnny Carson wearing your fortune teller's hat and have a teleprompter in front of your face with the exact answer to the question, you REALLY DON'T KNOW THAT YOUR WIFE WAS THE ONE WHO CAUSED THE PROBLEM.
Because, in fact, it wasn't me that created this mess, praise the Lord!  Sure, I came precariously close to stopping up the entire system by dumping half the contents of the fridge into the disposal, but that wasn't the issue after all.
I quote Donny The Plumber:  "Metal chips and junk".  Even the most creative of wives wouldn't throw THAT down the drain.

1b.  When you move into a new place and the inspector tells you there are "issues" and the seller's realtor starts getting testy and offers a "Home Warranty" in place of fixing the actual issue, faint.  That will draw attention away from the conversation and allow you to fain that "you never heard her say that" and that you would like a second opinion.
Ignore her eye rolling and proceed with the inspection.

2a.  If you aren't a plumber and you need a career, let me tell you that you can earn GOOD MONEY fixing all things that relate to pipes.

2b.  Because, when you are a plumber and you leave after five and a half hours and give the homeowners a return time the next day, the cost of your services is higher than a moderate couple's weekend vacation but less than the average mortgage payment.
In other words, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH.

3.  Cutting into walls is probably good therapy, if you are a plumber.
If you are a house owner?  It requires therapy before you make another expensive phone call to the company that will be paid to put up new sheet rock, tape, texture and paint.

And, it leaves the following unsightly damage:

 

4.  The moral of this story is GET YOUR FINANCIAL HOUSE IN ORDER.  Find yourself a little wiggle room in your budget and stash that money away in an EMERGENCY FUND.

Because, without one, your house could look like this for days on end, while you wait to collect the money to fix the issue*:

*I decided the better part of valor was to NOT wash dishes in the bathtub, which patently grossed me out when I really thought about doing it.  So, we've eaten out twice and had breakfast on disposable dishes, thereby adding a bit of sanity to the situation while expanding the bottom line cost of this project.