I've Gone Back to School!

Sure, going back to school sounds elegant and studious and income-propelling.  But, it's not an MBA I'm pursuing.

In fact, this is an education from the school of hard knocks.  And, if I pass, I can truly, finally, and irrevocably say "So-and-So-Teacher, from my the fourth grade year?  That test you caught me cheating on that I said I didn't?  Well, I did.  And, hear is the proof that I actually COULD HAVE passed it without changing that one answer on the way to your desk."*

In the past few weeks, I've covered the following ground:  memorization of the fifty-nine European countries, basic Algebra, prime numbers, factors, Latin phrases, density/mass/volume, recitation of Psalm 111, and reading/reviewing the first seven chapters of "The Hobbit".

And, that is just the proverbial tip of the iceberg. I know there's more, but I think I've reached my brain's limit for new information.

I've barely gotten to bed before I passed out from exhaustion because, many nights, after factoring in homework, dinner, football/karate practices, and play dates, we are kissing 9pm squarely on the lips.

I sleep like a baby.  I wake exhausted.  I bet I'm doing pre-Algebra in my dreams but I just don't remember.  

And I'm not sure my 44 year old body and brain can take one more night of this.

This homework thing?  I thought I left it behind, sometime in the late 80's.  But, since ascribing to the theory that I should be present, I have done more work outside of school than I think I did collectively K-12.

I can only imagine what my children are feeling.  Oh, wait!  They've told me!  And, it goes something like this:

"THIS SUCKS."

To which I reply:  "Sorry to tell you, but this is what the rest of your life is going to be like.  Once you finish school and go to college, you'll get a job and work this hard eight hours or more per day.  Sure, you'll have weekends off, if you don't have pressing projects to accomplish.  Now, wave to Daddy through his window, as he works at 7:45pm, and let's get back to work."**

Truly, I'm glad they are learning about the work ethic at such a young age.  I didn't have work outside of class like this until college.  And then I was completely shell-shocked.  I didn't know how to balance my social life and my school work in the slightest bit, so my grades first semester?  When my head was in the books 24/7 and I only went out ONCE?  Were great (3.65GPA, thank you).

Then came sorority rush.  And frat parties.  And a boyfriend who lived a couple of hours away.  My GPA barely had a pulse at 1.8.  OY.

So, at least, when the boys hit college, they will have some idea of what it means to balance sports practices with homework with playdates.  And that will translate into prioritizing fun with school work with dating/frat parties.

Now, if I can just figure out "Ubi est Helvectia?", we'll be on the track to victory for one of the boys.



*I could NEVER in a million, billion years have become a spy.  I suck at being stealth.

**So much for empathy from their Mother.