Extinction, In Six-Year-Old-Terms

Me: "What was your favorite part of today?"
The Babe: "Vampire Wars."

See, we went to the neighborhood picnic and stayed until after dark. That's when the kids decided to play this game, which is essentially hide-and-go-seek, with a spin to match the current vampire craze.

Me: "Hmmm."
TB: "You know what?* It doesn't hurt when a vampire bites you?"
Me: "Really? How do you know this?"

I refrained from telling him, though I thought it, that that is a blatant lie because I saw "Interview with a Vampire" and I know Tom Cruise was in excruciating pain after he got bit.

TB: "On "Man Vs. Wild"** they found a vampire tooth and it was razor sharp."
Me (thinking): "Bear has NEVER found a vampire tooth. Though I bet he's EATEN a bat."
Me (responding): "I see."

TB: "You know what?*** Vampires killed the dinosaurs."
Me: "How did that happen?"

TB: "They sucked all their blood out. You know what? Dinosaur blood is green."
Me: "HM. So the vampires made the dinosaurs extinct?"

One of the keys to raising a child with a vivid imagination is that you suspend belief A LOT.

TB: "Yup. You know what else? The vampires died then."
Me: "Why?"

TB: "Because they are allergic to green blood."
Me: "So I guess that explains why we don't have dinosaurs or vampires anymore."

TB: "Yup."

So, all you dinosaur-extinction-theorists, now you know the REAL reason why dinosaurs crapped out.

And, those of you who follow the Cullen clan? According to The Babe, there is no possible way they can be real people.

Now, those werewolves? We haven't ruled THEM out yet. So, stayed tuned.


*Right now, every conversation starts with this phrase.

**If you've never seen this show, it is testosterone served with a side of testosterone. Right up my boy's alley.

***This is rhetorical. He'll just keep going if you don't say "What?"