The Power of Mentos

A while back, the Hooman attended a party themed "Mythbusters". One of the fun experiments they did was the Mentos/Diet Coke explosion.

In case you are one of the dozen or so people who haven't Goggled "Mentos" and "Diet Coke" and seen You Tube footage of crazy people all over the world "proving" the theory that Mentos are actually a leftover weapon from the Cold War, let me tell you: this works. Explosively well.

For the Hooman, having a gift card to Target that had been in his possession for almost seven WHOLE days was restraint generally reserved for monks in a sex shop. It was practically burning a hole in his hand and he decided the logical way to spend his money was to create a Diet Coke geyser. Being only cold and heartless 15% of the time, Hooman pounced on the 85% chance he would get lucky with his ride request and caught me in the "Sure. I'll drive you to Target" zone.

After arriving home and prepping our experiment*, it didn't occur to me to actually lay down the law about WHEN and WHERE this experiment could be conducted. I assumed that the whole shooting match would be taken out of the house BEFORE the Mentos were actually inserted into the 2L bottle.

My error was the assumption. While I was getting the camera ready to record the whole event so I could send it to Mike's parents, I heard screaming.

Scratch that. I screamed when the TENS machine molested me. He screeched. Wailed. He stopped just short of howling.

And this is what I heard:

"MMMMMMOOOOMMMMMMM. OH NO. MOOOMMMMM. IT'S EXPLODING."

Now, at this moment, I'm in the kitchen. And I realize that it sounds like this commotion is coming from the other side of the wall. Which would put my son in the TV room.

I moved at a speed only previously seen when the sample lady at Costco had a tray-full of "brownie bites" and I could see she was about to close shop. I flew into the room and saw this:

One smallish boy attempting** to hold the cap on the Diet Coke which had, obviously, ingested the Mentos and was, therefore, violently spewing itself out of the perfectly drilled hole in the cap. And all this drama? Taking place within 3 feet of Mike's prized TV.

You don't know the TV? The one another woman had sent back to Best Buy because (and I quote the installer on this one) "it (is) too big"? The deal Mike couldn't refuse* because we "get the 25% open box discount!!!!!"? Yeah, THAT one.

It was within milliseconds of hitting the door that I started barking orders like the captain of a sinking ship. "TAKE THAT THING OUTSIDE. NOW!! OUTSIDE. OUTSIDE!!! MOVE."

Clearly, my instructions were succinct, loud, compelling and, did I mention, LOUD, because both he and I were at the door to the garage within a matter of .5 seconds, all the while, leaving a sticky, brown trail of Diet Coke on the floors, furniture, rugs, shoes (that weren't put in the right place. AHEM.), garage floor, a random bin of Legos and, finally, the entire width and breadth of the driveway.

The poor 2L bottle had literally expelled its contents in one direction and gotten thrown in another. I think it was doing its best imitation of a freshman sorority girl at the first fraternity-party-by-the-pool. Ain't no one coming out of that situation without a) getting wet and b) throwing up.

And Hooman? He decided the best way to handle this situation was to pout in his fort. And refuse to come out. And refuse to listen to reason ("There are a LOT MORE 2L bottles in the world" to which he whined "BUT I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR ANOTHER ONE."*****)

And just about the time this whole sordid mess was almost cleaned up, I got a phone call from a girlfriend of mine who tumbled dry a load of clothes that had been peed on by her cat and ate a portion of a bag of trail mix that contained a caterpillar (at least that's what they THINK it is.)

Yeah, so no pity party going on here. Just another 2L bottle purchase and an explosion OUTSIDE tonight.

It was awesome. Just like raising boys.


*Remove the cap, drill a hole in said cap, string Mentos onto a pipe cleaner. You know, standard scientific procedure crap.

**This took superhuman strength. Go Goggle "Mentos" and "Diet Coke" if you have any doubt.

****I understand he heard Don Corleone speaking into his ear at the moment he spotted this beaut.

*****If I had a dime for every time I thought this about sport's equipment, which manages to disappear, get cruelly run over by our cars, or simply implodes on itself, we could sponsor the lottery next week.