Parental Helicoptering

Driving home from lunch, on the Northwest corner close to 15th Street and 75 in Plano, I spot a billboard. It has a cute picture of a smallish-looking girl and the phrase "One Smart Cookie". Below the phrase is a website address.

As I'm looking at this billboard, I'm thinking "How cute! What a darling little girl."

Then it dawns on me. This darling little girl has parents. And those parents are beyond psycho.

Why? They actually spent money to buy their daughter a BILLBOARD so she could sell Girl Scout Cookies.

I think I just choked on a Thin Mint.

I really thought, being a sideline sport's parent in everything from soccer to lacrosse, that I had seen every lame trick in the book. From buying over-expensive shoes, to purchasing "special" sport's drinks, to holiday camps to "bolster skills", sport's parents go to extremes.

But, in all the time I've been on the sidelines, I've never seen a parent bring a "special team's coach" to the game to help out their child.

This billboard? The biggest, baddest, priciest coach next to Phil Jackson.*

Seriously, I'm thinking "How many boxes of cookies is she going to have to sell to recoup the cost of that thing?"

Then I think "Somehow I don't think price or recouping cost is the issue here. I think WINNING is the issue."

Then I wonder "Is Mom or Dad driving this insanity?" And "Who is going to deliver all those cookies?"

Somehow this just seems so against the Girl Scout Fairness Code.**

I mean, if I'm the kid whose parents accompany me to every house on the street and sell 1,000 boxes with sweat equity and no billboard, I'm getting pretty hot under the sash when Mom is driving me down 75 and I spot this pint-size primadonna.

Maybe it's just me, but when did parenting reach a new low where we aren't only expected to hover like helicopters around everything that our kids do, but also drive their every move and assure that every outcome is a WIN?

How are the kids of this generation going to learn to persevere if they never FAIL? Isn't defeat the ultimate teacher?

I'm all for helping your kids. But some parents in this generation have completely forgetten the lessons they learned from The School of Hard Knocks.

Then Mike pointed out to me that this was the billboard for the NATIONAL GIRL SCOUTS.*** Not some random cutie. To which I wanted to reply: "Dude! I've written an entire rant, er post, on this subject! Don't bust my bubble like that."

So, here's where I admit that I have a little trouble with jumping from A to Z without checking my head or my butt. This isn't some random, freak occurence. No, I've perfected this personality imperfection with YEARS of experience.

From what I understand, admitting I have this "problem" is half the battle of conquering it. If it's good for the over-eaters and over-drinkers of the world, it should be good enough for those of us who are over-concluders. Right?

Now. I'm going to sulk in the corner and eat my box of Do-Si-Dos.



*Yes, it isn't cheap living in L.A. But $10.3 mil a year?

**I don't think one of those exists, but, maybe it should.

***Go "meet the cookies" (I kid you not) at www.girlscoutcookies.org. I figured providing the address is the least I can do now that I've stuck my head up my rear.....