Dog Treats

Tex developed an eye infection so I have to put drops in his eyes four times a day. He HATES this little routine so I have developed a silly habit of giving him a biscuit each time we finish.

Now, these biscuits are pretty stinkin' hard. I don't know why, but they are, so Tex isn't really terribly fond of them. Today, he sat down for his drops then followed me into the laundry room for his "reward". He stared me straight in the eyes and attempted his best human-mind-bending-maneuver, silently thinking "You are getting very sleepy. Feed the soft, chewy biscuits. Give Tex the SOFT, CHEWY biscuits."

Problem is, the soft, chewy biscuits cause Tex to have gas. Silent-but-deadly-dog-gas, which is, incidentally, the worst gas on planet Earth. So, he gets those only at times when I know I'm not going to have to
a. transport him in the car, where the odor is magnified about 10,000 times.
b. keep him inside the house. I have been duped into looking for Doug poo MANY times by Tex odors.

Of course, while Tex is trying to use his doggy-brain-influencing-powers on me, Doug realizes where we are and comes flying around the corner like a dog on fire. He sits down quickly then expectantly wags his tail against the floor, no doubt thinking "Oh, please. I know I didn't get the abhorrent eye drops, but I sure am cute. PLEASE?!"

Knowing that these biscuits are bone-hard, I crack one in half for Doug, so he doesn't have so much trouble with it. Tex gets a whole treat, not just because he got the eye drops, but because he also has a much bigger mouth.

Doug immediately drops his half treat, which goes careening toward Tex. Tex, seizing an opportunity, drops his WHOLE biscuit, scoops up the half in his mouth and flies out of the room at record land-speed pace. Doug just looks up at me like "No wonder you adopted me. The amount of brain cells in the canine population around here was negative before I arrived on scene."

I didn't see Tex again for a good two minutes, but I could hear him killing his find in the other room. Knowing his brain capacity, I'm sure he probably thought he'd gotten the better deal because he absconded with something originally meant for Doug. I don't think, even to this moment, he is even aware that he ripped HIMSELF off.

Doug, meanwhile, just laid down on the floor and enjoyed his large, tasty treat.

The smile on his face told me "Yet again, I've managed to con my brother. I'm THE DOG!"