That's with a "J", thank you

I used to babysit for a doctor, his nurse-cum-housemaker wife, and their three girls. It was during this period in my life I had the realization that, if my body produced all girls, I might just throw myself off something HIGH.

It's not that I couldn't handle the little darlings. It was that I didn't UNDERSTAND them. They were WHINY, high-pitched screamers who were prone to crying fits, unlike the boys I babysat for who just wanted to roughhouse, spit, and generally try to gross me out. With only a brother at home, this latter environment made sense to me.*

But, with all their shortcomings, I still enjoyed BEING with the doctor's girls. We had fun playing Barbies, braiding hair, and telling secrets. As long as bedtime wasn't too far from the time I arrived, I was able to keep my sanity.

Their Mom, on the other hand, never quite won my heart.

Every time I babysat, that woman wrote a check to me. Each time she spelled my name "Gill". As a teenager, I just dismissed it as a spelling issue and I, respectfully, NEVER corrected her. Sure, it annoyed me--all the way to the mall.

As a phonics-Mom, I realize she was way too intelligent, with her nursing degree and all, to chronically make this error. There is a big difference between pronouncing "G" and "J"**.

Yet, in case I thought she was the only person who learned pronunciation from a hair-lipped woman from Transylvania, I was lucky enough to cross paths with these fine folk:

This same town boasted a great friend whose Dad put fires in the "chimley". I'm glad he never "burled" down the house.

A close relative had co-workers who offered her "uranges" the first day she worked with them. I think they must eat "Ureos" when they need a good snack.

Mike would like to put a plant on the "window seal" above the cabinets that have "pools". I can't figure out where in the hell he is living, but it's not in the house with the "windowsills" and drawer "pulls".

Dr. B, the phonics guru, states that English is the most difficult of all languages to learn. Just because I've always been fascinated by language and, therefore, have studied it more than the average Joe, I shouldn't be such a hard-butt when people make pronunciation errors. I really should give everyone a break.

But, then, blog reader, you wouldn't be reading this post today. I CAN'T let you down. I WILL continue my evil ways and sacrifice so YOU have something to read.

Today, the girls I used to babysit are likely Moms; sometimes I wonder what happened to them. Did they have girls of their own? Where do they live? Did they ever realize how often I put them to bed early after changing the clock on the stove to "prove" it was 7:30?

Likely, I'll never know.

I just really hope they found "jynocolojist" in the phone book when they became "prejnant".



*Now you know why God graced me with boys.

**I know you are trying it, so, admit it, I'M RIGHT.