In case you haven't noticed*, I am a fan of the *.** This all began when Mike took me to a Barnes and Noble on a "married" date***. I was cruising through some section and noticed a book with a cute outline of a dress on the cover and, upon reading a few sentences, realized it was quite possibly the funniest book I'd ever read!**** Literally, my post-birth bladder couldn't handle it and we almost had an accident.*****
ANYHOO, this book had a * after almost every sentence. I could hardly wait for the next * to reference me to the bottom of the page where another morsel of hysterical sidenote had been written. This literally SPOKE to me.******
So, thanks to a married date, you are forced to make a choice:
1. Read through my blog entries, ignoring the *'s, and enjoy the comments at the end
-OR-
2. Everytime you see a *, move the slider bar to the bottom and try to locate the pithy comment that accompanies the *.*******
Aren't you glad I solved THAT mystery for you?********
*Immediately return to the first post and OPEN YOUR EYES.
**The single * at the end of the sentence wasn't a reference. But I guess you figured that out? Smart, smart readers.....
***You know the kind: Dinner, movie, Barnes and Noble. The stop at BN is only because you hired a sitter and it would seem goofy to return home at 8pm on a Saturday night. Shoot--8pm used to be when you got started SHOWERING when you were dating as a single. Plus, every minute you stay out past your kid's bedtime is one more minute they have to fall asleep before you arrive. Hence, going to Barnes and Noble is something like foreplay!
****Jen Lancaster is a wordsmith AND a diva.
*****Notice I didn't write "I almost had an accident" but "WE almost had an accident". THAT would be the royal WE, as in me and Mike, because, had my bladder burst on the spot I sure wouldn't be running for the first available employee to "clean up the spill on aisle 5", I'd be sprinting to the bathroom with my contraband book, bounding through the doors setting off the "book alarm", so I could hold in the silver button on the wind tunnel hand dryer while thrusting my pelvis forward to try and dry my peepee pants. Thus, I would already HAVE a job and Mike would get to make the embarrassing walk to the service desk and do the honors on that one!! Now THAT'S a royal WEE.
******And, I bet, you are completely digging it, aren't you????
*******Blogger does not accept responsibility for reader's whiplash, carpel tunnel syndrome, or my inability to humor you.
********No.
The '*' is a C (the programming language) notation for a pointer to a place in memory whose contents you (the programmer) would like to reference or manipulate. Since C does not provide for a variable type that is simply a string of characters (as opposed to an integer, let's say), a C programmer is reduced to using pointers to manipulate strings.
ReplyDeleteThis is only relevant because to set up a string variable in C that holds the value "Jill is a riot!", one would define the variable as such:
char* reaction = "Jill is a riot!";
Notice the *.
So - everytime you use *, I am fondly transported back to the days of hard-core programming, when I could actually manipulate and take responsibility for memory buffers and registers and the like that would allow me to take responsibility for the efficiency of my programs. The sad state of programming today must, alas, be left for another inappropriately contextualized comment.
* I fully realize this is probably beyond anyone's "point of caring" besides, perhaps, Mike's. But you have a blog, and with that, you get strange, off-the-wall comments from time to time. It comes with the territory. :-D
*. **. ***. ****.
ReplyDelete*What?
**the
***heck????
****No speaka programmer.
I refer you back to asterisk footnote 1. :-P
ReplyDeleteMy head hurts.
ReplyDeleteSo, can I assume that Pretty in Plaid is not a disappointment?
ReplyDelete