Sweet Nickels,
I can hardly believe you are twelve today. It seems like just a few years ago we attended Luke's first birthday party (making that party was an answered prayer from God), arrived home, and my water broke in the bed. That was one in the morning today, twelve years ago.
Your Grandma Joyce was with us that night. She had flown in to be at your birth, a gift from me to her, since she had never had the privilege of giving birth to a baby. Little did she know that she was going to be such a super, big help that day.
Susan Akins, my mid-wife, was with us every step of the way as I labored at Baylor Hospital. She helped Daddy and Grandma know how to press on my back so the back labor was less. She didn't push for Mommy to have a C-section, instead letting my body work hard so you could be born naturally (with a little help from pitocin!)
In the last twelve years, you have led the way in teaching me and Daddy about being parents. Almost everything we've done as parents had to be tested on you first. I know we've made some mistakes. I know we've not always been perfect. I'm sure we've done some things that, later on, you'll think were really stupid.
But, despite our shortcomings, you have grown into a young man we are beyond proud to call our son. You have a very kind heart. You are a good friend. You are a helper to those around you. You are sensitive. You are loving.
You welcome the chance to try new things. You are a salesman to the core. You have always tried to stretch your wings and do things that Mom and Dad are trying to shield you from, but you've matured enough that you recognize our "no" as a loving boundary, instead of a brick wall.
You love to read and would rather do that than sleep. You want to play football through High School and, I think, you have that talent. You haven't yet met a video game that you couldn't conquer. Your love for math will likely develop into a career. You have a beautiful voice that, I'm positive, God hears and counts as angelic, especially when you belt out any of plethora of hymns and contemporary Christian songs you know. You are fantastic at sparring and, I predict, will take a first place trophy this year! :)
Above all these things, you love Christ. You are developing your own walk with Him that makes us very, very glad.
Happy 12th birthday, sweetheart. I love, respect, and adore you to the core.
Love, Momma
Monday, September 5, 2011
Friday, September 2, 2011
Are You Praying?
Prayer groups are, quite possibly, the best thing since sliced bread. And, considering I'm a major carb fanatic, that is saying a lot.
I am so incredibly happy to be involved with a group at Covenant that meets every Friday morning and prays over requests not only from the school but also from the women who attend, who bring petitions from their network of family and friends. It is an ingathering of needs from all around the world on many days.
Prayer, as a practice between me and God, is vital to my every waking moment. It is like having a conversation with my best friend. If I am truly in the moment with God, I hear answers to the issues I bring to Him. I feel comforted or buoyed or peaceful or confident...whatever He deems necessary to cover me.
When I am haphazardly praying, often just shooting "arrow prayers" at God, not putting much thought or effort behind what I'm saying, I often find myself hearing another voice, one that I know, instinctively, is NOT God. It is the voice of the world, the voice of the evil one, trying to convict me that what he is saying is the truth.
I'll readily admit taking direction from that voice, and moving on issues, that were most decidedly (and, in retrospective I learned) Satan leading me down a primrose path. And I went, merrily, until I realized "Hey! This doesn't feel right. And it is having a negative effect." and I took the issue back to the Lord in EARNEST prayer and corrected the path down which I was traveling.
I've learned, when you are duped by the devil, that you need to ask for forgiveness. You need to mend the broken fence between you and God. You need to be in right relationship with Him because you have just done something that, in the evil one's eyes, is reprehensible: you've stopped cooperating with his plan. And, that flat pisses him off. And, I guarantee, he is going to try to retaliate. So, having nothing blocking your relationship with God, is of extreme importance.
Sometimes Satan's retaliation can feel like its own curse.* As if, by making a course correction for the better and asking God's forgiveness, that you've done the WRONG thing. Nothing could be further from the truth! But, it will take fortitude to stand WITH God against the enemy.
These are the times you'll feel tempted to quit. But, don't! Instead, take it straight to God for strength, rebuking Satan for his evil ways, and asking for wisdom and perseverance and, yes, the (often) dreaded patience.
If you quit every time a road block gets thrown up, you'll never realize the other side of the coin: the blessings that come after the rain. The ability to pull yourself up out of the mire, with God's help, and dance a jig of happiness. If you give up, you never get to see the rainbow. And missing that would just be a pity.
Prayer is a learned habit which, for many, doesn't come naturally. They feel "goofy" talking aloud to God. They worry that God really doesn't hear them. They feel unworthy, because of sin, to even dare stand before Him and honestly admit their faults and mistakes.
Let me encourage you to just try. Put aside all your concerns and find a quiet place and just start talking. Let it all hang out. Tell God where you are failing in life and ask Him to show you a better way. And tell Him, honestly, that you are sorry.
Don't worry about form or proper language or quoting scripture; just speak. And then get quiet and listen. You may even want to get some paper and a pen because God has been known to have quite a bit to say when you are patient enough to wait for His responses!
And, when you hit the "Amen" at the end of your prayer? Remember you are saying "SO BE IT" to God.
According to His will, in His timing, He is working out plans for good for your life, with you being His wing man through prayer.
What a blessing and privilege and honor.
*Examples taken from real life: about the time you figure out a monthly budget and are able to tithe for the first time, you have a car accident that completely wipes out your savings. Or when you are waiting for that new insurance plan to kick in and your child breaks his arm. Or when you are head of a committee and get unexpectedly sick the morning of the event. When you are trying to do good or waiting for good to occur, the devil sees an opportunity to do just the opposite. Don't give up on God's goodness!
I am so incredibly happy to be involved with a group at Covenant that meets every Friday morning and prays over requests not only from the school but also from the women who attend, who bring petitions from their network of family and friends. It is an ingathering of needs from all around the world on many days.
Prayer, as a practice between me and God, is vital to my every waking moment. It is like having a conversation with my best friend. If I am truly in the moment with God, I hear answers to the issues I bring to Him. I feel comforted or buoyed or peaceful or confident...whatever He deems necessary to cover me.
When I am haphazardly praying, often just shooting "arrow prayers" at God, not putting much thought or effort behind what I'm saying, I often find myself hearing another voice, one that I know, instinctively, is NOT God. It is the voice of the world, the voice of the evil one, trying to convict me that what he is saying is the truth.
I'll readily admit taking direction from that voice, and moving on issues, that were most decidedly (and, in retrospective I learned) Satan leading me down a primrose path. And I went, merrily, until I realized "Hey! This doesn't feel right. And it is having a negative effect." and I took the issue back to the Lord in EARNEST prayer and corrected the path down which I was traveling.
I've learned, when you are duped by the devil, that you need to ask for forgiveness. You need to mend the broken fence between you and God. You need to be in right relationship with Him because you have just done something that, in the evil one's eyes, is reprehensible: you've stopped cooperating with his plan. And, that flat pisses him off. And, I guarantee, he is going to try to retaliate. So, having nothing blocking your relationship with God, is of extreme importance.
Sometimes Satan's retaliation can feel like its own curse.* As if, by making a course correction for the better and asking God's forgiveness, that you've done the WRONG thing. Nothing could be further from the truth! But, it will take fortitude to stand WITH God against the enemy.
These are the times you'll feel tempted to quit. But, don't! Instead, take it straight to God for strength, rebuking Satan for his evil ways, and asking for wisdom and perseverance and, yes, the (often) dreaded patience.
If you quit every time a road block gets thrown up, you'll never realize the other side of the coin: the blessings that come after the rain. The ability to pull yourself up out of the mire, with God's help, and dance a jig of happiness. If you give up, you never get to see the rainbow. And missing that would just be a pity.
Prayer is a learned habit which, for many, doesn't come naturally. They feel "goofy" talking aloud to God. They worry that God really doesn't hear them. They feel unworthy, because of sin, to even dare stand before Him and honestly admit their faults and mistakes.
Let me encourage you to just try. Put aside all your concerns and find a quiet place and just start talking. Let it all hang out. Tell God where you are failing in life and ask Him to show you a better way. And tell Him, honestly, that you are sorry.
Don't worry about form or proper language or quoting scripture; just speak. And then get quiet and listen. You may even want to get some paper and a pen because God has been known to have quite a bit to say when you are patient enough to wait for His responses!
And, when you hit the "Amen" at the end of your prayer? Remember you are saying "SO BE IT" to God.
According to His will, in His timing, He is working out plans for good for your life, with you being His wing man through prayer.
What a blessing and privilege and honor.
*Examples taken from real life: about the time you figure out a monthly budget and are able to tithe for the first time, you have a car accident that completely wipes out your savings. Or when you are waiting for that new insurance plan to kick in and your child breaks his arm. Or when you are head of a committee and get unexpectedly sick the morning of the event. When you are trying to do good or waiting for good to occur, the devil sees an opportunity to do just the opposite. Don't give up on God's goodness!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
A Friendly Reminder
I was reminded by a sweet friend today that there comes a point where people stop asking how you are doing after you've lost a loved one. They might ask how a relative, like the surviving parent, is doing. But, rarely, do they ask about you.
I've found that to be true, as well. Most of my days, I don't think too much about what I've lost because I have so much in front of me that is a blessing. But, there are most certainly days when I realize Mom is gone.
Like lunch with a dear friend and her posse of friends, including her Mom, who was riding shotgun at the table. Or when I walk down the card aisle at the grocery store around Mother's Day and I realize I have only one card to buy now. Or when I hear news that a relative's Mom has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and, instinctively, I know how his heart feels.
Yes, time changes things. Yes, time heals wounds. But, some wounds run really deep and can't be cured by time. They change. They evolve. The evidence of them is less evident to the outside world. But, they are still there.
If I could go back and recapture one thing in my life it would be the dates each of the people I love have lost someone significant in their lives so that I could remember those dates when everyone else is forgetting. So I could make that phone call on the anniversary that is drudging up memories or send that comforting email or shoot a prayer to God for peace.
In some ways, I think that acknowledging those days is more important than acknowledging an anniversary or a birthday. Everyone is all excited for the "fun" events in life. But, what about the days that hurt?
I'm blessed that I don't dread Wednesdays anymore. I don't see them as the "day" that Mom died.
I'm glad that I haven't found myself in a funk during the holiday season, as everything that happened with Mom, from diagnosis to death, occurred from late October to late January.
I'm happy that I can be happy, even now that Mom is gone to a better home.
But, I know others aren't there yet. And, I bet you do, too. Why not give them that little reminder that you haven't forgotten? That you are still available to listen. That you still care that there is hurt in their lives and that you aren't a fair weather friend?
There's still time left in the day. Why not do it now?
I've found that to be true, as well. Most of my days, I don't think too much about what I've lost because I have so much in front of me that is a blessing. But, there are most certainly days when I realize Mom is gone.
Like lunch with a dear friend and her posse of friends, including her Mom, who was riding shotgun at the table. Or when I walk down the card aisle at the grocery store around Mother's Day and I realize I have only one card to buy now. Or when I hear news that a relative's Mom has just been diagnosed with breast cancer and, instinctively, I know how his heart feels.
Yes, time changes things. Yes, time heals wounds. But, some wounds run really deep and can't be cured by time. They change. They evolve. The evidence of them is less evident to the outside world. But, they are still there.
If I could go back and recapture one thing in my life it would be the dates each of the people I love have lost someone significant in their lives so that I could remember those dates when everyone else is forgetting. So I could make that phone call on the anniversary that is drudging up memories or send that comforting email or shoot a prayer to God for peace.
In some ways, I think that acknowledging those days is more important than acknowledging an anniversary or a birthday. Everyone is all excited for the "fun" events in life. But, what about the days that hurt?
I'm blessed that I don't dread Wednesdays anymore. I don't see them as the "day" that Mom died.
I'm glad that I haven't found myself in a funk during the holiday season, as everything that happened with Mom, from diagnosis to death, occurred from late October to late January.
I'm happy that I can be happy, even now that Mom is gone to a better home.
But, I know others aren't there yet. And, I bet you do, too. Why not give them that little reminder that you haven't forgotten? That you are still available to listen. That you still care that there is hurt in their lives and that you aren't a fair weather friend?
There's still time left in the day. Why not do it now?
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