Babe Outs The Parents

"I know where you and Dad have puberty."

One of the nice little side effects of The Babe's learning difference is not being able to come up with the right word.  He can describe the living crap out of whatever thing he can't name but give it a name...nyet.

I racked my brain.  Puberty, puberty.  This word is being thrown around our house daily now that Nickels is going through it.  But how were we, his parents, being sucked into it?

That's when it dawned on me:  he was talking about s.e.x.  So I asked him, "Do you mean where Mommy and Daddy have SEX?"

"Yes", he confidently replied, smiling big and wide, like he had just outed the biggest secret in the whole universe.

"And who told you this?"  I already knew it was Mike.  There was no doubt in my mind it was Mike.  To think it was either of the other two boys would be to admit that they KNOW we have sex, where we have sex, and probably THAT THEY HAVE SOMEHOW BEEN AROUND TO KNOW WE'VE HAD SEX.

I had a total and complete cooties moment.

There was a bit of bantering back and forth about this whole thing and then it was over.  He knew.  I knew he knew.  And the world didn't stop spinning.

Then, later in the week, he asked how he was born.  I'll spare you the anatomically-correct version of the explanation, but let's just say he was completely and utterly grossed out.  Wished aloud that I had had a C-section instead because that was so much more palatable than coming from "down there".

Can I just say that I am glad this is the LAST time I'll have to wander through the joy of explaining sex to  my boys.  And Mike is SO on the hook for the penile explanations.  I don't have one, I just live with many of them.  So, technically, I'm no expert.  That falls on the man WITH the ding-dong.  Just sayin'...