Learning Different

In the game of life, some of us are dealt aces and some are dealt twos.  I'd like to believe that kids with learning differences would feel as accepted and worthy of aces as those who don't struggle with social, attention, and academic problems, but I know that is a blatant lie.

In speaking with a Mom today at a breakfast for first/second grade Moms at Shelton (our learning different school of choice), I found out that Shelton's reputation among kids on the "regular school" playground is that kids that attend our school are "Sheltards".  WOW.

Sometimes it feels like the deck is stacked against you when you have a kid who is different.  But, I also know that learning differences often add up to kids who conquer the world in unexpected, amazing ways. 

A recent HBO documentary on dyslexia, for example, highlighted two very talented, diverse businessmen, Charles Schwab and Richard Branson (of Virgin Airlines fame).  It seems the ability to think outside the box is tantamount to being able to see what others don't, can't or won't.

After all, when learning different kids find themselves being taunted by the very words on the page, it can seem like they've hit a brick wall that they can't punch through.  But, punch they do, until they figure out which hook makes the bricks fall. 

It is that very persistence that makes learning different kids an amazing breed.  They work 100x harder than other kids.  They are exhausted by school, but yet refuse to give up.  They press on, against ridiculous odds, to mitigate problems that others don't have and that others put labels on, such as "retard" or "stupid" or "dumb".  Statistically, though, these kids are the brightest and the best.  They simply learn differently.

I would encourage you to check out this article on coping skills for children who learn outside the box.  It is well written, informative and worth your time.  Even if your children are part of the mainstream, read this so you can be informed on what your neighbor's child might be experiencing.

As a parent, I can tell you that the process of educating learning different children is a mind-boggling, frustrating, disparaging journey if you think you are alone.  Please know that you AREN'T.  Most parents I talk to find their children dealing with some issue, whether it be social or academic (and sometimes both), physical or psychological.  As a group, we have to find the voice to speak about our children's issues with one another so we aren't all living on islands, going crazy thinking no one understands.  That is a complete and utter lie!

If I could personally speak to every parent of a learning different child in person, I would tell them that there is hope.  I would hold their hand and cry with them.  I would listen to them scream about how hard it is and how unfair it can be and remind them that the difficulties our children are experiencing in this season will build skills they will use throughout their lifetimes.  God is walking them (and us) through these journeys to build character traits that will shape who they are as adults.

I think Erma Bombeck said it well:  "When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, 'I used everything you gave me.'"

Watching my learning different kids work through life, I can tell you that they will be tapped out at the end.  They leave blood, sweat and tears on the table everyday.  When they stand before the throne of God, they will have used everything they were given, plus some.

And I, for one, will be the proud Momma who had the experience of helping fight their way through their issues and guiding them to their God given talents.

I know there aren't supposed to be tears in Heaven, but when we stand together in front of our Lord, and I know to my core that this journey was worth it, I think there might be a tear or two falling down my cheeks.  And a smile as wide as the Mississippi.

I am so proud of all three of my boys.  I embrace their differences.  I feel blessed to be part of their daily struggles.  And I will never deny to any other parent that what they are experiencing is hard.  But, it is worth it.

Because, in the end, if I know anything I know they are so incredibly worth it.