Why Godparents?

Over dinner the other night, in the midst of a busy restaurant filled with chattering people, a good friend asked why we had chosen to have Godparents for our children.

Growing up in the Episcopal church, this was a given. If you were being baptized, you were getting Godparents. They were a package deal.

But, my friend didn't grow up in that tradition and was curious about the concept. So began a conversation.

Since we weren't on a double date without kids, of course there were normal interruptions ("Can I go to the bathroom?", kid number three asked for the fifth time, "When will dinner be here?", asked each time the thought crossed any of the five kids' minds, "What is the secret to tranquility?", asked rhetorically by me as my glass of wine was placed on the table).

Somehow, between the kid-created disruptions, munching on good food, and great chatting with our friends, the Godparent card was thrown on the table but never picked up again. So, today, I'm finishing the conversation here.

In the strictest sense, Godparents serve the role of partnering with parents in that they promise to help bring the baptized child up in the church, learn the important creeds and prayers of the church (The Lord's Prayer, for example) and help assure that the child is confirmed when s/he is of age (ie: understanding church history as it relates to a relationship with God.)

Godparents can come from a variety of sources, from single friends to married family members, though all of our choices have been friends who are married couples. For us, the naming of Godparents served as a indication of our closeness with the people we chose to ask; the relationship intertwined our lives with our friends in a way that makes us as close as family.

Nickels' Godparents were friends from the moment we started dating, one leading our "Marriage 101" class at church, and the other marrying us. We've seen each other through the best (births, baptisms, birthday celebrations) and through the worst (unfortunate medical diagnoses, the death of too many parents). They have the distinction of being our kids third set of Grandparents, with the names Poppa and Momma in place of Grandpa and Grandma.

Hooman's Godfolk have been in my life for around sixteen years and have known Mike as long as I have. In fact, the Godmama was one who conspired to make sure I married Mike. We've been through five pregnancies and births together and one very sad miscarriage. We've endured parental cancer, family issues, and too many times of laughter and tears to recall at the moment. In short: we're tight.

The Babe's Godparents have been in my life so long that I can remember what the Godmama's hair looked like in High School. The Godfather entered my life the night I married my first husband and they have stood by me (and Mike) through thick and thin. We are legal guardians of their children up to age eighteen, though I make sure to tell both of our Godbabies that they are welcome in our house whenever they want to stop by and stay awhile. We feel as close to them as we do to our own kids.

Personally, I feel responsible for doing the following for my own Godchildren: praying for them regularly, setting an example of Christian living (by attending church and staying connected to Christ in my own life), and helping them grow in the faith of God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit through my example and encouragement to follow Christ.

I also do my level best to remember them on special occasions, such as birthdays, Christmas, and graduations.

I want each of my Godbabies to know they have a safe place to land if they ever need to, someone praying for them, and someone outside their nuclear family who loves them unconditionally. In fact, one of the joys of Godparenting is that it is a taste of Grandparenting: all the fun stuff with none of the ucky discipline.

It is an honor to be asked and to ask someone to be a Godparent. Those who understand the gravity of the request are generally moved beyond words in the moment. It is a nod to the people you choose that you see something in their lives that is worth emulating in the life of your own child.

I count being a Godparent as one of the most sobering, humbling, moving experiences I've had in my days on Earth. It makes me want to be a better example, a better parent, and a better friend.

And to each of my Godbabies and our children's Godparents today? Blessings on you.