Can Oprah Just Go Now?

Am I the only one who feels like we are throwing an extended, over-the-top, billion dollar going away party for Oprah?

Every time I turn on the television, there is yet another commercial for the MOST AMAZING OPRAH SHOW IN HISTORY! I'm being told to stay tuned for the MOST INCREDIBLE GUEST LINE-UP IN THE ANNALS OF WESTERN CIVILIZATION!

I keep waiting for them to announce JESUS HIMSELF WILL BE SITTING ON STAGE WITH OPRAH. AND DEBATING 'SIN V. PERFECTION' WITH SATAN. AND EVERYONE IN THE AUDIENCE WILL BE RECEIVING THEIR OWN JET.

I mean, really, if the Big O* has her OWN** network now, shouldn't we be leaving someone amazing for the 24 hours/day of programming that exist over there?

And, 24 hours/day? Really? Even HGTV has the common sense to turn off in the wee hours of the morning.

No offense, Oprah, but I think America is suffering from what is called "overexposure".

We've loved you for 25 years now and we are sad to see you leave the "real" networks, but there is only so much we can take.

All that said, I know you are in cleaning mode at Harpo Studios. And, I'll glady help out! If you happen to run into any extra "favorite things" or spare cars or a carbon copy of that dude from "Thor"?

You know where to reach me.


*Wow. So much crazy innuendo there, it's not even funny. Let your mind wander to clean places, please.

**GET it? The network is O.W.N.? HA HA.