Valley Days

Sometimes, when you attend a memorial service, you can tell that the person who died is being eulogized in a way that is revisionist history. Literally, the person in the casket in no way, shape, or form resembles the beautiful, loving, angelic man or woman being spoken of.

I've had to attend a couple of services like that and they were, frankly, very sad. Not only did I sense that the deceased lived a life in pain, but their suffering caused a ripple effect of immense pain starting with them and crippling family members, friends, and co-workers.

Yet, this past week, I had the privilege of attending a memorial service that was so genuine and true and wonderful, that included so many amazing tributes, that I was sincerely sad I hadn't had the chance to get to know the man who had passed on.

He had given his prized, well-worn, written-all-over Bible to his pastor, who had taken Psalm 23 and used the deceased man's notes to help those of us in attendance really understand what went through his mind as he battled an on-again, off-again disorder for seven year.

One of the thought-provoking notes he had written said "What we think about God is exposed in the valleys."

That little tidbit resonated with me as gospel truth.

It's not hard to love God when things are going your way, the world is your oyster, and life is dealing you aces.

But, when the chips are down and you have no sense of peace and you are wondering "WHY?", it is much harder to sense that God loves you, much less feel love for Him.

I've had my share of "valley" moments, just like almost everyone I've ever met. Sometimes I've walked through them with bitterness and anger and hurt that was unrelenting. In times that I was more lucid and close to God, I walked through on the back of Christ, letting Him carry me, and feeling so well-loved, peaceful and cared for.

Valleys are never going away. I know that because I know the mountain-top experiences are here to stay. And, to appreciate the blessings, you must feel the times when blessing seems so far away that you think it might never return.

So, as my life comes near to the next valley I will inevitably go through, I've been inspired to think the following:

1. I never want to go back to a point of blaming God for my life's mistakes. I want to acknowledge those mistakes and move forward, instead of looking backward, knowing that the temporary pain I am feeling is a gift, a chance to move closer to Christ, and let Him teach me what I need to learn.

2. I never want to walk through another valley feeling left behind, abandoned, and lonely. I want to tangibly feel God's presence, every step of the way, because He is, after all, right there beside me, every moment of every day. Even when the diagnosis isn't "right" or the accident was my fault or I managed to botch the same thing for the umpeenth time.

3. I forever want to walk through my life's valleys feeling confident that I have done everything in my power to use those valleys for good. To take the lemons and make lemonade. To refine the carbon into a sparkling diamond. To be the one who God can claim didn't lose sight of Him, even when life was at its hardest.

I pray for your grace, God, to achieve this. Come what may, even when the night is the darkest and the valley seems long and harsh and unyielding, help me to always remember that it is during the hardest times that I can prove how much I love and trust you.

I am yours. And nothing is more important that that.