The Big 2-0

Men? Just hang it up. Today's post is about female health issues.

Go grab your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue and forget about this blog today. Trust me, if you forge ahead, you'll just wish you'd taken my advice.

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This year will mark the 20th anniversary of the first time I had a mammogram.

Mutli-colored balloons will descend from the ceiling, followed closely by ticker tape and confetti. It will be the event of the year, if I have anything to do with it.

As I accept the award as the youngest person in the waiting area AGAIN (and the other women suspiciously look at me because they figure something MUST be wrong for such a young princess to be wearing the coveted easy-access, pink-ribbon patterned, cotton shawl), they will hear me say:

"I consider it an honor to have been chosen to have a higher risk of breast and ovarian cancer* and I accept this award for all the thousands of women, just like me, who carry the weight of wondering 'Am I going to die before my time because of one little genetic abnormality?'"

Yes, this is most definitely my least favorite event of the year, so I approach it with sarcasm as thick as winter-tapped maple syrup.

But, since it really is a banner year, I thought I'd make it extra fun by seeing what you all think I should do to celebrate. I'm not going to give you any ideas because I want YOURS.

The big event is scheduled for September, after the kids go back to school, so the world is my oyster during the day. I'm sure the weekends will be a little nuts with soccer/football for the boys, but I could fit something in there, I'm sure.

So, how crazy should I go for this milestone? Do you want to join me? Not while I have my sensitive tissues squashed, but in some fun activity afterwards?

What would you do to celebrate 20 years of breast health?

Come on, let's see what you've got!!!


*In case you are wondering: my birth Mother died of breast cancer, which led me to have BRAC testing done. That testing showed that I carry a genetic marker that puts me at a higher risk of developing breast and ovarian cancer over the years.

I also think that gene is responsible for the enourmous amount of sarcasm that flows through my body on a daily basis.