What Keeps You Up At Night?

At the beginning of Lent, I asked for writing suggestions for post 500. Well, here we are! Numero Cinco cero cero. I don't know whether to cry or laugh or throw a party. So, instead, I'm going to write.

Most of you responded to my writing request with this: " ."

"Stale Air? Nothing? Crickets?" Yes. Yes. Yes.

But, one person, in fact the very one who challenged me to start blogging to begin with, created a list so exhaustive that I could write a year's worth of posts off the list and barely scratch the surface.

So, today, I decided to tackle the one suggestion that I'm not too mentally exhausted to take down in one gigantic bite: What keeps me up at night.

Thankfully, in a very literal sense, I am a good sleeper. So, at the outset, my answer is "Not a darn thing."

Then, when I probe a little further, I realize my true answer is more like "Kids who can't settle down, have tummy aches/head aches/leg cramps, and a new cat who is a purr-box and is still exploring the house and meowing excessively for some unknown reason."*

But none of those answers drills down to the heart of the matter. So here's what freaks me out enough that I might need Nyquil to take the edge off:

I am concerned that our country is dividing itself along so many lines that, pretty soon, we are all going to hate each other.

Choose your poison: illegal vs. legal, white vs. anything not white, liberal vs. conservative, denomination vs. denomination, gay vs. straight, male vs. female, home schooling vs. public schools vs. private schools, rich vs. poor, educated vs. uneducated, Christian vs. any other religion.

I despise the fact that morality has lost its compass, that right vs. wrong is now a continuum, instead of black and white.

I regret that stating my opinion as a Christian now causes many to have a "bad taste" in their mouth. Frankly, I wish there was some way to take a time capsule back to the 50's and keep everything as pure as driven snow through the next fifty years of war, sexual revolution, women's rights, abortion-on-demand, gender equality and so many other things that have blurred lines and tainted our ability to say "NO. That's wrong."

I hate that there are so many people suffering all around me and my best efforts only seem to be a drop of water in an ocean.

I wish I could eradicate homelessness and suicide and abortion and hopelessness. I wish "illiteracy" was a word that could be taken out of the dictionary. I wish I could read the minds of the autistic people I encounter so I could truly get to know them. I wish the biggest house in the world could become home for all the children who've been abandoned by AIDS, and war, and neglectful parents.

I hate that we are so politically engrossed in creating law after law intended to enforce common sense that we never stop to analyze what is truly going on in our world.

I wish we would stop worrying about legalism and figure out how to share a common ideology. I would love if we could truly learn from history, not just repeat it, ad naseum. I don't want the next generation to inherit a world that just repeats the same chaotic mistakes and largely ignores dictators who are cruel and unreasonable, who inflict genocide on their countries.

I worry that my boys will be exposed to pornography of any sort.

I want to place "purity contacts" in their eyes that will disallow them to see anything meant to tease or tantalize them before they've met their wives. I wish my radio could tune to catchy, popular songs without the underlying message being about sexual conquest and inappropriate behavior.

I fear that forgiveness is going out of style and that empty "Sorry"s are here to stay.

I think that most people fail to understand the power of forgiveness isn't what it does for the forgiver, but in the life of the forgiven. And I worry that, if we don't learn to forgive each other, we are headed down a path of destruction that is wide and deep and unyielding.

And, even though I could look at all these issues and think myself sick with worry, I don't. I know that I know that I know that God is in control.

He sees this post and all these things that I think about and knows how they will all play out. He is the only one who can take what appears to be an evil, hopeless, unjust situation and turn it around for good. His understanding makes my worries pale in comparison.

So, back to my original statement: Nothing really keeps me up at night. Because, when I am really in tune with God, before I go to bed I turn these things over to HIS capable hands through prayer. And, with God by my side, I have nothing, absolutely nothing, to fear.

And that, folks, makes for some mighty fine ZZZ's.


*Bob is his name. Stay tuned for the rest of the story.