Day Five

So, I'm sure you are curious about how yours truly is doing on her Lenten promise to cleanse her body of all her favorite junk food. Right? You care. Right?

And, no, I'm not going to give you the blow-by-blow of my time in the bathroom on this one. That would be gross and imprudent and would use way too many keystrokes. Let's just leave it at "LOTS".

But, thanks for asking, I feel GREAT!

Just today, I realized I was craving a veggie burger something fierce. Which is totally ironic considering all I can have right now is vegetables cooked on a bed of other cooked vegetables.*

Anyway, I knew I had the rice and tons of leftover, cooked green food, so I Goggled "brown rice veggie patties" and found a couple of recipes, modified them for the ingredients on hand and, 30 minutes later, Mike and I were having these AMAZING patties made entirely of the following:

Rice, Sweet Potatoes, Wilted Spinach, Mushrooms, Onions, and Roasted Green Beans.

All that goodness, cooked until crispy, in coconut oil. You can not even imagine how badly I wanted to eat my weight in these things.

But, surprisingly, at least to those of us whose weight has yo-yo'ed up and down the dial for the better part of our lives, that much fiber can actually fill you up rather quickly. Especially when you are eating a mixed green salad with olive oil and balsamic vinegar dressing on the side.

If you are starting to sense snark in my commentary, you.are.right.

Yes, those veggie patties were amazing. Yes, the salad was really good. BUT I WANT A BIG, FAT HONKIN' SLAB OF MEDIUM-RARE COW.

I want to go back to Kroger and say "HELLS Yes!" to the Girl Scouts outside the door who were peddling cookies.** I want a pink lemonade from The Babe's stand with a tequila shot and a good bowl of queso and chips. Heck, I'd even take a late-night run through Whataburger for a "Breakfast on a Bun". ANYTHING OTHER THAN ANOTHER VEGETABLE OR PIECE OF FRUIT.

But, dear readers, for my benefit, I am going to write about what I'm craving and how much I want to cave, so that I don't.

So, go ahead and yuck it up at my self-imposed food prison. Send me anonymous boxes of Girl Scout cookies just to see if I'll write a post about how cruel you are. Flash your fully-caffeinated coffee with double sugar and cream in my face.

I can take it. Really, I can. For sixteen more days, at least.

But, day seventeen?

All I have to say is "Katie, bar the door! MommaJ just got her walking papers. And she intends to use them."



*I'm guessing it was REALLY the bun and mayo I was craving.

**I actually went out the "in" door to avoid their Siren voices, beckoning me to eat their Thin Mints.