I am THIRD

Mike and Nickels were traveling in the car recently and spotted a billboard from the people at I AM SECOND dot com.

Nickels took one look at the billboard and said "Dad. That's not right. I'm not second; I'm third."

There couldn't have been a prouder Daddy on the road in that moment.

We have spent a great deal of time in this house trying to help our sons realize that they are NOT first.

First is God.

They aren't second.

Second is Others.

They are third.

It is only when they've considered God and then the people around them that they can even begin to consider themselves.

This works like a charm when son #1 has pounded son #2 for taking a toy. The phrase "Who were you thinking about?" has another meaning when you have to think about what God would want (He'd want me to share) and when you have to think about the other person (Was brother playing with the toy first? Is the toy his?* Am I hogging the toy? etc.)

This becomes harder when some one's actions are impacting you; when you've done nothing "wrong" but find yourself hurt by another person.

That's where the rubber hits the road. That's where the going gets tough. That's where you have to dig deep and find the strength to realize where you really stand in the priority list.

We may not like what other people do, but we are teaching our sons to learn that, before they can really take something as a personal affront, they have to consider the other person. The other person's feelings and viewpoint and standpoint.

For a 44-year-old woman, who never thought much about being anything less than number one her entire life, that concept is hard. In fact, without some of the tough lessons I've learned that pushed me to God and forced me to endure the pain of other's decisions, I think that concept would continue to be impossible for me to grasp.

That's why I'm so incredibly proud that Nickels, at 11-years-old, already partially gets this.

It isn't going to change his life to one of no mourning. It isn't going to mean he isn't going to get hurt. It won't even mean he'll be less selfish or remember the lesson all the time.

But, it will mean, that God has something to point Nickels (and our other sons) to. When they think about getting out of line, I'm sure God will use this wonderful phrase, to get them back on track.

And to keep them humble enough that they will eventually learn that, even though the world will tell you otherwise, third place is actually something to aspire to.


*Our hard and fast rule is that you must ask permission to play with other brother's stuff. And, if they don't and find themselves in the middle of playing with someone else's toy and are asked for it back? It must be handed over immediately.....