I am the parent of a student who was bullied. I, also, was bullied as a younger person.
In one instance with my son, it was physical abuse. In other times, it was verbal abuse. Thank the Lord it never morphed into sexual abuse.
But, regardless, it left deep, hard scars that will take years to heal. It crops up at times unexpected by all of us and leads to an anger that frightens me.
As parents, we dealt with both situations as quickly as we were aware a problem existed. Circumstances sometimes meant we were "blind" to the problem longer than I wish we'd been, but I hope, retrospectively, my son sees we did our best to help in an expedient manner.
Now, when the memories crop up in him, I just want everything to go away. I reason that it is "in the past".
Worse than that, I don't know how to help. No one ever helped me in the years I was teased, so I feel so helpless to help him. I also guess there is a part of me that throws up my hands and thinks "If I survived it and became a better, more sympathetic person as a result, he'll survive it, too."
I think we feel so helpless when it comes to bullying because there is just something so evil at the core of it. It is, most times, a cry from the person committing the act. It is the only power that person has; the power to make others hurt. I can only imagine the pain.
Regardless, when we take evil and repay it with evil, everyone loses.
God specifically addresses this when He tells us "Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." (1 Peter 3:9)
This is a verse with a command and a promise: when you are insulted, return kindness, so that your God can bless you.
Now, what I'm about to say is going to be unpopular with some of you. It may sound insensitive. You may not agree at first blush. But, stick with me.
So many groups of people these days, who are bullied, need to repay insult with kindness.
The problem is that our society has labeled these groups "victims" and folks have bought into that.
So, instead of holding their heads high and refusing to play the victim, they get angry and lash out, labeling everyone who disagrees with their standpoint as sexist, racist, and bigoted.
And, thus, they are blinded to the truth. Because nothing has been solved. More anger and wrath has simply been added to the fire.
To which God says:
YOU ARE ONLY A VICTIM IF YOU CHOOSE TO BE ONE.
YOU CAN CHOOSE TO DEFLECT THE INSULT. YOU CAN CHOOSE TO TAKE THE HIGH ROAD AND BE KIND IN THE FACE OF YOUR OFFENDERS.
THIS TREATMENT ISN'T FOR FOREVER. IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY, I BEG YOU TO TURN YOUR FACE TO ME BECAUSE THE DEVIL HAS HIS HAND PRINTS ALL OVER THIS SITUATION AND YOU ARE BEING DUPED.
The core issue in bullying isn't WHY, it's WHO.
The Devil is behind any "good" insult, not God.
The Devil is behind feeling helpless. God isn't.
The Devil holds the reins of those who have turned from God or don't know Him.
God, desperately, wants to intervene, but He is powerless unless and until you CHOOSE HIM. That is the beauty of God: He isn't going to force His love on you. He's truly a gentleman who won't beg you to love Him back. He'll wait until you are ready.
The mind is the Devil's playground, apart from God. And, sadly, the mind has tricked too many people. They've decided to turn from the truth of the Word and hand over power to other people instead of guiding their destiny with God's help.
And, even if you know God and you've cried out to Him and it seems your prayers haven't been answered because the attacks keep coming, you haven't been forsaken. He sees what is going on. He knows the sin.
And maybe, just maybe, we need to not only look at the bully, but at ourselves when we feel the victim. We need to look inside ourselves and be sure we are right with God. And look outside ourselves at our REACTION.
There is absolutely NOTHING another human being can do to you that God doesn't see. And, if evil is being committed against you, vengeance isn't yours. It's Gods. While you are here, repay with kindness.
There is absolutely NO INSULT that can be hurled at you that can change the fact that you are God's child. Insults are of the world. They are of the Devil. Speak kindness into the hearts of the unlovable.
You are God's prince or princess. His beloved. The apple of His eye.
At this very moment, His eye is on you. And, if you don't know Him, he is waiting for you to take that first step and acknowledge Him.
Your security, in all situations, needs to come from the fact that the King of Heaven calls you His own.
And, as difficult as it is to understand and as much as you don't want to acknowledge it, He also is watching over that person who is treating you with disdain.
You have a choice: fight evil with the weapons of this world or use God and His word as your weapon, believing that He will be your salvation. Know that when you obey Him, and return goodness for cruelty, that He is watching and taking note.
And always, ALWAYS, remember that He doesn't believe what the other side is doing is right or good or just. In times when it seems like the pain will never end, know that your prayers are heard. Sometimes they just aren't answered on your timeline. And, sometimes, they aren't answered in the WAY you want them to be.
Trust Him. Let Him deliver both you and your enemy so that everyone can benefit.
As hard as that may be, that is what God calls us to do.
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