Being Eaten Alive

Editor's note: I'm talking to myself here, too, lest you think I'm preaching without realizing this applies to me, too.

Have you ever noticed, when you are REALLY angry with someone, that when you finally come clean with them, whether it be minutes, hours, days or years later, that the other person often

1) had no idea you were mad/had no idea why you were mad
2) wasn't even aware that you were giving them the cold shoulder
3) didn't lose any sleep over what you considered grudge worthy*

Doesn't that just burn your butt? I know it does mine.

But it also is a gentle reminder that, unless you are willing to communicate with people and be honest, people can't read your mind.

Honestly, you wouldn't want them all up in your cranium most of the time, anyway**. But, that's the only way some people could honestly know what's bugging you about them and your oh-so-wrong behavior.

And, unless you are willing to go all John Travolta and live in a bubble for most of your life, you are going to run across people who are going to say or do things that aren't going to sit well with you. And, because you are closest to them, they are likely going to be close friends and family.

In my experience, most people aren't out to intentionally harm anyone. They don't wake up thinking of insults or making up gossip about others or trying to figure out how to steal someone else's spouse. In fact, most of the time when people say or do something that you consider an offense, they didn't even know they were doing anything wrong. But, we are all human and we all make mistakes. And, sometimes, those mistakes are going to get under your skin.

That's where forgiveness comes in. In order to get to the point where you can be honest with someone and let them know you were hurt, first you have to have some vague idea that you are willing to forgive them. Then, you can approach them knowing that, even if they aren't one bit apologetic, you've done your part to move past the breach.

Life is complicated. So are people. We deal with past hurts, failures, and experiences every day. And sometimes we are let down by those we love.

But, it is incumbent on us to figure out how to live in this world, trust others (even if they hurt us), and forgive.

If we refuse to do this, we might as well go ahead and order that bubble.



*And over which you had lost tons of sleep and spent so much time worrying that you start dreaming about said incident. ARGH.

**Earlier today, had you been in my mind around 5:30pm, you would have experienced the following (in technicolor): "I'm tired. Why isn't there a "instant dinner" button in my kitchen, attached to the microwave? That reminds me of Jane Jetson. She had one of those cool buttons AND perfect hair AND a cute, hour glass figure, even after giving birth to two kids eons apart! I think I just developed a minor hatred toward that woman. Why isn't some scientist on this button thing? Like now. (minor time gap) I'm soooo tired."