Be Good for Reading Sake

I suck. As a person. And by association, as a Mother.

That is, according to my youngest.*

Tonight I listened as The Babe cried. And cried. And cried. Because I wouldn't read him his "favorite" book that I gave him for Easter.

See, I hit rock bottom with the kids at anytime after 8pm. I expect, no, I DEMAND, that they follow instructions and complete tasks efficiently at this hour. I had been working since 7:40 to get them showered, pj'd and orally hygiened. It was approaching 8:05. Mike wasn't here. And I was ready to hit the bed.

So, I started trying to move them faster than the pace of tree sloths. They were having none of that business.

I told the boys that I would gladly read to them if they would move at a quicker pace. They were having none of that, either.

Finally, when The Babe took his brother's toothbrush, already over-pasted and ready for action, and threw it at the sink, I about lost my mind.

I didn't scream. I didn't pout. I didn't even yell.** I just, very calmly, stated that The Babe had just lost the privilege of reading a book with me because he was not following instructions.

Have you ever heard the lonely, low moaning of a whale in the ocean as recorded by the likes of Jacques Cousteau? It's haunting. Somehow, The Babe managed to recreate that sound, just to whip me emotionally.

Then the tears started. Then the pleading. Then the wailing.

This must have lasted for about 20 minutes total. About fifteen in, I almost caved when, during a talk about why he was in this predicament, his bottom lip quivered as he tried not to cry.

But, I held firm.

I just hope the psychiatry bills for this and other atrocities I have committed, like refusing five servings of potato chips ten minutes before dinner, don't cost a bazillion dollars.


*Who didn't actually say "You suck" because a) he doesn't know that phrasology and b) he likes to be able to sit comfortably on his bottom, without having to adjust, side-to-side, to avoid the place Mommy spanked him.

**MIRACLES still occur.