Back Off and Nobody Gets Hurt!

Here are some people/canines/calendar events that made my list of "Top Irritations" lately.....

1. Plumbers who make snide remarks about what was actually stopping up the toilet rather than having the common sense to just let it go*. Yes, I know, we use more toilet paper than a house full of OCD women. What can I say? We like to be clean. Kiss my grits.

2. Dogs who decide the last piece of bacon, left after the vicious horde of boy-men ate the rest, is theirs**. Even when it was the only piece of bacon I could savor all week because I AM ON ANOTHER FRIGGIN' DIET. Don't you DARE get near my grits, you worthless hounds.

3. Daylight Savings Time. What a crock. I don't see anybody in this house realizing the sun is out longer than normal and refusing to turn on the lights.

In fact, I predict that, once again this Spring, we'll attempt to make the little wheel on the electric meter turn at warp speed, hoping it will break the speed of sound, based solely off the enormous quantity of lighting left on in this house. DST? Double kiss my grits.

I told you I was going to get cranky on this diet......


*HEY! DUDE! I don't go reminding you that I can see your butt crack. Leave me the heck alone.

**I have, sadly, realized I've lost every bit of leverage with these dogs. Once I removed the family jewels they became all "YEAH? What could you possibly do to me that hasn't already been done? Hit me with your best shot, chickadee."