Sunday Drivers

An open letter to the guy behind us at the stop light about 1/2 mile from church:

Yes. We missed the millisecond of time between the light turning from angry red to happy green. As we've aged, our reflexes are becoming less like a driving machine on the Autobahn and more like Dallas suburbanites on our way to church.*

Did you like the way Mike drove the SPEED LIMIT after you honked? That was on purpose. And the way he didn't do the usual "rolling" stop at the sign? Yes. We were running late for church, again, but it seemed more important to slow down a bit, enjoy the roses, and piss you off even more than when we didn't hit the gas and scream off the walkway line at the first hint of green.**

We really thought it would be HI-sterical if you turned into the church parking lot with us. But, you didn't. You kept right on going, into your neighborhood, speeding away after we turned. I think the only reason we didn't get the finger was that we were turning into the church. Then again, the tinting on your windows WAS pretty dark....

Sadly, we didn't pray for you after this incident. I'm sure we should have. You really could be going through some really terrible situation in your life and we just made it that much worse.

Then again. You are a driver in Texas. And we know your kind. So were are going to err on the side we know: you were just being a butt. Like the kind on the back of a donkey.

Well, thanks for giving my husband the satisfaction of pissing you off this morning.

Me? I feel the need to take a shower after all this. Somehow, I just feel dirty.

Most sincerely yours,
The Nowell Family


*Oh. And did you notice it's Sunday? Where you are supposed to get a pass for being a slow driver?

**Mighty Christian of us, wasn't it?