The Cutting Edge

So I am the least fashion/style conscious person on the planet. In fact, to find the genes that have anything to do with anything remotely NOW, you'd have to go back several generations. Then, you'd be in the NOW of the past, so that really defeats the purpose. Let's just say that my side of the family buys into the phrase "It's your thing. Do what you want to do."

Since I'm prone to winging it when it comes to design* and, heaven forbid, NEVER consult magazines that would actually involve anything having to do with "Fall Collections" or "Latest Trends", it was nearly impossible for me to try to get the blank canvas of this house anywhere never presentable without competent help.

Plus, by remaining design-ignorant, I've kept myself from needing the latest and greatest and from running to the store every 20 minutes trying to keep up with the latest incarnation of bell bottoms, paisley prints, and the "in" colors.

This week, however, I was in need of help with color. For the walls. In the TV room.

I actually made a semi-design decision that too much green would be, well, too green. So, I found the email my former neighbor sent and emailed the woman she used to help redecorate her house on a shoe string.**

This is the response I got:

From: Stylishly Cheap Designer
Subject: RE:
To: helpmechoosecolors@yahoo.com
Date: Wednesday, October 28, 2009, 7:32 PM

Jill,

I would love to help you out but I am completely booked until the 2nd week in January. I start Christmas decorating next week - can you believe that?!!!

If you're interested in setting something up in January just let me know and we'll get it on the calendar. My # is 972/555-5555. Thank you so much for your interest in Stylishly Cheap Designer Interiors!

The Stylishly Cheap Designer

WHAT??? I've heard of paying someone to put up Christmas lights on the exterior of their house, but decorate the interior? Really? People pay money for that?

I understand the exterior light thing. What middle-aged man really wants to haul his over-worked, under-exercised body onto the roof, potentially exposing himself to a nasty fall and the holidays in a body cast? Please. Mike gave up on that in his late-20's and I was all for it.

The interior of a house, at Christmas, should feel cozy and warm and full of stuff that kids made at over abundant holiday parties, Sunday School events, and school craft times. There should also be the requisite ornaments handed down from the previous generations. Plus some junk picked up post-Christmas sales at 90% off.

Pretty much, once the tree is up and the flat surfaces of the house are covered with red/green/gold/silver stuff, you are done. The cost? A Sunday afternoon of your time and a few extra ounces on the body due to too many calories from the hot chocolate you downed in the process.

I emailed the SCD back and asked if she knew someone who could help before January as I would likely lose my sanity by then. Plus, I'm afraid our dear contractor will notice he's become part of the family, having been with us since last February, and walk just on that basis.***

We'll see what she says. In the meantime, I'm going to resist the urge to head out to Sherwin Williams for a quick look-see.

Last time I chose colors, we had Pepto Bismol pink in the entryway. I'd like to avoid another color faux-pas like that.





*Yeah. You noticed. Go ahead and admit it.

**I already liked this woman, sight-unseen, for the work she did in my friend's house and for her penchant for cheapness.

***Becoming an honorary member of this family IS that frightful.