Birthday Party Blues

So tonight I'm watching the Duggars on TV. Michelle is pregnant again and is about to add another "J" kid's name to this universe*.

And she's about to become a GRANDMOTHER. In fact, her next baby will be Aunt to the grandbaby. But they'll practically be the same age. That's creepy with a capital K.

But, really, what this got me thinking about was the number of birthdays there are to celebrate in the Duggar house. If the birthdays were somehow evenly divided between the days of the year, they'd be celebrating once every 2 weeks.

Now, I'm kinda digging that scene. Talk about taking the pressure off. That makes me want to go out and adopt a hoard of kids so I can get rid of the curse of the birthday party.

Am I the only parent in America that feels that way? I stress WAY TOO MUCH about birthdays.

I think, if I gave the boys fourteen buckets of over-full water balloons and a gob of cupcakes, they would think they died and went to Heaven. That's the LOGICAL side of me talking.

Here's the emotional, "I'm building memories for this generation and generations to come", side of me yakking: The bucket colors should not clash, the balloons must be the right weight to break just as they hit their victim (and color-coordinate, fo' sho'), and the cupcakes must be homemade, individually decorated with perfectly whipped, appropriately colored, buttercream frosting.

I know what you're thinking, "Control freak!"** You think that like it's a BAD thing.

I guess I'm really fortunate that I have boys. I get easy party requests like "swimming" or "watching a movie". I'm the one who complicates them. Or forgets the most important elements.

Like deciding it would be a good idea to throw a party the night before we MOVED? All because I felt bad that I hadn't had the party on the anniversary of the very moment he was born.

Or the time we decided to drive FOREVER to the natatorium where some schmoe of a parent didn't put a proper swim diaper on his/her baby. It was Baby Ruth city in that joint. My arsenal contained paper plates, forks, napkins, and cake. It's kinda hard to entertain pre-pubescent boys for 45 minutes with nothing but chairs and tables after you've tanked them up with sugar and they've been banned from the poo-poo pool.***

Oh, to be Michelle Duggar, if only for one month. I bet she has all the kids help bake a sheet cake, from a mix out of a box, and frosts it with a tub of pre-made frosting. They probably use candles that have been burned before. And I bet there are no birthday invitations or planned activities or anything unnecessary. And, I bet those are some of the best birthday parties in the world.

Now, there's a woman with priorities in the right place. I could learn a thing or two from here.

Maybe I'll try to gain her wisdom. That is, after this weekend's birthday party that starts at a restaurant and moves to a theater. With no back-up activity. I don't even know what kind of cake the b-day boy wants.

Chest pains? Who, ME?


*She's used all the good ones, if you ask me. And some crappy ones, too. Jedidiah got totally hosed. I just hope that kid doesn't have any learning problems or he'll never get past trying to spell his own darn name.

**Emphasis on freak. That's me.

***Lesson learned? Always have a back-up activity.