Queen Cry-a-lot

I started to cry during the kid's weekly matinee at the Studio Movie Grill last week. No kidding. Big tears exiting eyes, flowing down my cheeks.

Either I had done a really good job discreetly wiping my face 10,000 times with a napkin reduced to pulp OR my make-up job that morning was pathetic, because when I brought it up in the car on the way home, everyone looked at me like "WHHATTTT? You were crying? During Prince of Egypt?"

Yes, I was crying during Prince of Egypt. You got a problem with that?

Here's how it all happened, me getting from dry-faced taxi-Mom to blubbering idiot, that is:

1. We arrived a wee bit close to start time* and the parking lot was abnormally crowded. Thankfully, Hotels.com was having an outing of some sort in one of the theaters, which explained the five minute walk past all the SUVs and BMWs**. It also explained the buffet of bagels, cream cheese, coffee, and donuts in the hallway that I had to practically extricate the kids from after they made the 40 yard dash toward the table***. They thought they had hit some kid jackpot. I got to be the meanie who pointed out "you only have two sevens and one Jackpot. SORRY."

2. Our price for admission was a reasonable $6. The popcorn, however, was on the high side of average at $3.49. I had to get two bowls because the kids were all sitting about 10 feet apart and I didn't want to be the "popcorn-passing-go-between" all movie long****. The tea was an astounding $2.99. Truly, this is a bargain if you can drink FIVE GALLONS, but for one measly glass? It COSTS $2.99 to make five gallons of tea, and that's if you use BOTTLED water*****!

3. Once I got over the sticker shock that was the menu, we settled in. Before we even got past the first two scenes, it was obvious the Babe had been checked out during the time I was interim chidren's minister at church and we studied Moses. I had to narrate so he could catch the story, as his previous exposure, apparently, didn't stick. Our conversation went something like this:

"That's baby Moses."
"Who's he?"
"The one who heard the voice from the burning bush."
"There's a bush burning? Where?" (Looks like a bobble head trying to get an adequate view)
"No, the burning bush, in the Bible."
"Oh." (Clearly didn't remember THAT)
"What about the 10 Plagues?"
"Eggs? I want popcorn!"
"Never mind. Have you heard of Passover?
"Pass what?"
"Passover. The holiday still celebrated by the Jews? Moses knew about that."
"Moses. Moses who?"

I'm clearly frustrated by this whisper-loud conversation between my cupped hand and his right ear. Each time I whisper something, he turns to me and YELLS his question or response. This isn't working. But I am persistent, if I am anything.

"Moses is the one who brought the 10 Commandments down the mountain to the people. Do you remember Mom and Dad telling you about the 10 Commandments?"

(Look of recognition in his eyes) "YES. That's what you tell me about every time I disohay you."
"Disobey?"
"Yes."
"You are right."

Now that he is caught up on the plot, I watch the movie. The story truly is amazing: a baby boy, marked for execution, escapes to become a prince, only to realize "his" people are being enslaved and to work against the palace to get the slaves out of Egypt, all at God's request.

Moses was a gutsy dude, from leaving the comforts of the palace, to trusting God's voice through the burning bush, returning to the palace and ushering in God's plagues, to leading his people into the wilderness, parting the Red Sea and presenting the 10 Commandments.

When Moses put that staff in the Sea and it rose up, like a backward tsunami, and presented dry land, complete with an image of a whale swimming behind a wall of water, THAT'S when I started to cry.

It was the sheer beauty of the story that got me at that point. These people had been through so much and, here they were, trusting in a situation that was so, very scary. I mean, truly, can you imagine looking at miles-high walls of water and proceeding forward, across what used to be the bottom of the sea just moments before?

It was just an emotional highpoint in the movie for me. And, doggone it, I'm pretty glad I'm not so "grown up" that I can't cry at an appropriate moment.

So, be warned, fair readers. If you attend a theater with me, I may go all misty on you. Just pick up a few extra napkins in the lobby before we enter the movie and life will be all good.

The fact that I might be late meeting you? The horror on my face when I pay to get in? The honking when I need to blow my nose, mid-movie? I apologize for all that now.




*Have I mentioned I have this little issue with time? Seems I can't keep track of it and refuse to be tied down by it. What a rebel.

**This wasn't the average every Mom, daycare, and YMCA descending upon the theatre kind of day. Thank goodness.

***Man! I knew I quit corporate American too soon.

****I paid my two bucks to watch the movie, too.

*****I felt like the servers were standing at the back of the movie, rubbing their hands together, laughing evilly about my ridiculous outlay of money for a glass of tea.